AIBU to tell DH to remove my email address from school list!

[BloodyEmails]

DSC started secondary last year, my husband has a habit of using my email address for things as he rarely checks his own whereas I use mine most days for things like work (self employed).

Anyway, he thought it appropriate without telling me to put my email address down for DSCs school communications and now, as well as getting bombarded with emails from our own kids childcare / school, I'm also getting emails left right and centre from DSCs school too. Their mum gets them as well I think.

Basically shit hit the fan recently as we all missed an email about a school trip and DSC couldn't go in the end because it was too late.

I'm fed up of having to go through these bloody newsletters and everything, AIBU to tell DH to remove my email address and either check his own or get their mum to sort it out.

Can you block the email address, so when they send one they will have it bounce back to them as undeliverable, then they will be forced to clarify with dad and their mum what email address they should be using

He shouldnt have done that but I would rely on him to put it right or for them to remove it fully

I mean I WOULDNT rely on him to put it right or for them to remove it fully from their systems

I'd remove yourself and tell him you have and it's on him moving forward.

YANBU

The cheek of the man.

I'd unsubscribe. Or contact the school and say yours has been given in error and give them DH's instead.

Definitely not unreasonable. Emails are annoying enough when your own dc. Can you not just write to the school and unsubscribe your email address? Tell him to use his own even if he sets a separate one up just for school and then he can set a notification. Make sure he also gets notifications for younger dc.

Definitely not your issue about the trip. At least as they get older they will be better at communicating and remembering important info such as own clothes days.

I would have emailed them back after the first email to say they have your email address by mistake as you are not a parent of a child at that school and to remove you. Then I would have blocked them

I have randoms often using one of my email addresses so if the company is legit I tell them similar to above. As depending on your email provider they may not bounce the emails

He is a parent who is neglecting his responsibilities to his child. He doesn’t have the luxury to simply decide he isn’t going to check his emails.
And using your address is just wrong and disrespectful. What an unattractive man

School Data manager here - you are only down as a contact because either Mum or Dad have added you. Email the school - using the email address they have for you - and request to be removed from all school communication by email AND phone. You may (at your choice) still agree to be an emergency contact - that means if the school cannot get hold of Mum, dad, higher priority contacts, you get the call if there is an issue with the child. That is not the same as you receiving all communication.

He needs to start using his own email. It’s pathetic that he needs to use yours because he doesn’t check his own. What a lazy cop out.

Plus if your email is on there, there’s an insinuation that YOU have a responsibility to make sure dsc has what they need. If something is missed, their father will be able to play the innocent victim if his ex or dsc try to have a go at him about it and it will be all about you.

She knows she is down as a contact because the dad added her, what a strange opening to the post

School manager here!

I'd be livid at this! Your DH casually outsourcing "women work" to you!

I'd just block them and tell him to sort the rest himself.

Amazing how he can't read his emails so thought she OPs work email, she can deal with it and act as a email filter to remind be about the essential stuff ...
Haha the joker. Remove yourself and tell him and give them his email.

I feel sad for the dc who missed their school trip - surely ONE of you must have seen the emails?!

I think it’s not asking much for mum and dad to take control of monitoring the emails but at the same time I see it as you’re a family and if you’re the one normally dealing with school emails etc then it doesn’t really add much to keep an eye on ones from dscs school too does it? I’d happily do it.

He’s an adult with children, he doesn’t get to just ‘not check his emails’. Call the school yourself and get removed from the list, tell him he needs to put himself down and check his emails like the rest of us do

@Afterfire the problem with this that actually there's no dad in this equation. It's mum and step mum involved in fielding emails. Do you know how many emails get sent just for one kid ? It's maddness.

Dad has shirked his admin on to the two females in his life and gone nah rather not and using them both as a helpful escape goat.

It's nice you would do it and yes sad for DSC but I feel rather sorry for op and mum here (because they being blamed for missing a email) and dad can sit back and be like - maybe look harder next time.

Your wife is your partner not your mum or in this case unpaid admin person.

OP knows that though.

Anyway OP. Yes reply and say take me off you've been given my details without my permission. Then tell DH. He's so out of order.

You are not unreasonable at all. This needs to be managed by the two parents who share contact. Get your email removed and let them know.

Well yes I'm sure everyone feels sad for the DC but their mum should have been on top of the emails and their Dad should also have been on top of the emails. And OP is already having to stay on top of her own child's emails so why doesn't dad take the responsibility for one of his children's school administration instead of outsourcing it.

So he's decided you're his designated secretary?
Fuck that!

YANBU at all!

School emails are the work of the devil and anything important is usually buried at the bottom. DH demanded that he was added to them, but - as far as I can tell - has never read one in his life, preferring instead to expect me to have an encyclopaedic understanding of their contents.

Plus there seems to be an unwritten rule that whoever reads it, pays the deposit, organises the clothes for the day trip etc. etc. Fine if it's your own DC, but as it's not he can sort it out.

I'd contact the school today and get it changed to his address. You can be passive aggressive in the extreme as well , say you were so upset about SDD missing her trip, that he really needs to take this on himself and coordinate with the DM.

I have a child with complex special needs who attends complex needs school and am part of a blended family so know all too well the amount of admin etc that goes along with this stuff!

I would do it myself rather than relying on him to do it.

To be honest I stopped checking them a while ago as I just have enough to do as it is. DH never specifically told me he was expecting me to read them so I haven't bothered for a while.

I'll email them today