AIBU to tell DH to remove my email address from school list!

[BloodyEmails]

DSC started secondary last year, my husband has a habit of using my email address for things as he rarely checks his own whereas I use mine most days for things like work (self employed).

Anyway, he thought it appropriate without telling me to put my email address down for DSCs school communications and now, as well as getting bombarded with emails from our own kids childcare / school, I'm also getting emails left right and centre from DSCs school too. Their mum gets them as well I think.

Basically shit hit the fan recently as we all missed an email about a school trip and DSC couldn't go in the end because it was too late.

I'm fed up of having to go through these bloody newsletters and everything, AIBU to tell DH to remove my email address and either check his own or get their mum to sort it out.

I would be livid. Dh and I share children and it infuriates me that he does not read any if the action communication. If he expected me to deal with it for a child who is not mine I think i would divorce him.

I am actually furious on your behalf. And on your dsc's behalf.

Aah delightful, wife work. It "surely doesn't add much", don't you know.

And this is why men continue to get away with barely having to do anything, ever.

Well it doesn’t! People get themselves in a twist about all this shit. You’re telling me op didn’t see an email about a school trip when she was checking her emails? Yeah the Dad should be doing it but for the sake of the child does it really matter who does it? It’s not about wife work for gods sake. It’s about making sure SOMEONE is looking out for the kids, Mum, Dad and / or step mum!

@Triffid1 doesn't she men email school to get her email address removed herself rather than asking him to contact school?

*mean

Email the school yourself and ask to be removed.

It’s DH’s responsibility to read these.

Well it doesn’t! People get themselves in a twist about all this shit. You’re telling me op didn’t see an email about a school trip when she was checking her emails? Yeah the Dad should be doing it but for the sake of the child does it really matter who does it? It’s not about wife work for gods sake. It’s about making sure SOMEONE is looking out for the kids, Mum, Dad and / or step mum!

Who are you to say it doesn't? Clearly everyone else here thinks it does. Daily/regular emails and newsletters to read is a big time drain, plus the pressure to not miss anything.

What you are describing is so clearly wife work it's comical that you don't see it. "It's not about wife work it's about someone looking out for the kids, doesn't matter who." Well it's not about wife work, it's about SOMEONE keeping the house clean and remembering to look after the kids and keep on top of all the admin in the house. Oh wait, in the real world, it does matter who does those things. Because it isn't fair to push it all on one person.

Especially, in this case, the person that isn't even responsible for the kids in question.

@Afterfire and I'm not knocking you for that and have the upmost respect for it actually. You could be a mum sm or a sc my response would have been the same. Everyone has a right to be heard

But for once a thread on is so clear cut it's unreal. A mum I 100% expect my ex DH to not use his wife as admin or use me as the sole admin person either. My personal opinion is school emails are the work of the devil. There is 0 reason for dad not to be doing this here iMO

It’s there, clear in the op, that the op uses her emails every day due to work etc and the dh does not. Doesn’t it therefore make sense - on a practical level- that the person who regularly checks their emails (whoever that is) receives the school emails? Why is that so sexist? You could argue that the dh should check their emails but we don’t know why he doesn’t. Maybe he does a job that means he isn’t on his phone / computer etc. Who knows. But op IS accessing her emails a lot so therefore why does it matter in the grand scheme of things if she’s a contact for the dscs school?

I get all the emails for our family because dh doesn’t have access to his personal emails at work. I can regularly check them throughout the day if we get something. It’s not about wife work, it’s about who can regularly view the emails!

A other ‘father’ who thinks that parenting is a woman’s responsibility then……

why does it matter in the grand scheme of things if she’s a contact for the dscs school?

Because I have more important things to be doing.

@Afterfire I regularly notice that the washing needs doing and there are dishes in the sink, or that it's a family members birthday soon or DD needs more clothes, or it's dinner time, and my DP doesn't. Does that mean it just "makes sense" for me to do all those things? The fact that I am in the vicinity of those things does NOT mean it is nothing at all for me to complete those tasks and my DP might as well not bother.

Yes you "could argue" that he should be checking his emails. Because he's the one with the responsibility to be looking out for emails from his DCs school. That is the absolute end of it.

Sorry @Afterfire but No.

Its his child we are talking about. His child is HIS and his ex responsibility. Not the OP.
If he is choosing to not look at his emails (and seriously who doesn’t look at his work emails everyday???), then there is no reason why it’s ok for him to palm of the responsibility to his dwife WO EVEN CHECKING SHE IS HAPPY WITH IT.

Its also very different than what happens when it’s THEIR together children. They might have an agreement that the OP or him, whatever is dealing with those emails. But even then it should be an agreement. Not an assumption on his part that @BloodyEmails is receiving hem so I’m sure she will deal with them type of attitude.

He can't check his emails throughout the day at work no reason why he can't flick through when he gets home in my opinion.

So mum missed the trip email too? Well they both need to step up!

Actually dsd (much older) has started coming to me for important stuff and I don't mind at all (I'm more available) however I get dp to fill my car up if I'm running her about!

Yes we both 'missed' it. As I say I stopped reading them a while ago.

The more people who are on an email, the less people think they need to respond. Parents are the ones who should be responsible here.

It’s not about wife work, it’s about who can regularly view the emails!

So would you be happy to be the main person fielding emails for your niece, nephew, friend's child because you are available to check emails all day and their parents aren't? Bear in mind that OP then has to relay everything to her partner to make decisions/ act on the email for his child. Having OP as the main email contact adds an extra layer of admin.

'escape goat' 😄

Obviously your husband can sort this, he caused the issue, it's on him to fix it, and to parent his kid. Does he try to palm off his responsibilities on to women in other ways?
'doesn't check his emails'-nah, don't indulge that.

Exactly it's not OP's role to check the emails. People are paid to check emails so it's obviously not easy.

Email the school. cc —the lazy tosser— dp in it. Saying to remove your email address and this x email is dps.
I deal with school comms and would remove your email address asap.

You didn't miss it, it was never your responsibility to see it.

Yes email and get yourself removed and he will have to either create an email address just for these emails which he needs to make sure he checks regularly, or check his current email. What a shocker a bloke relying on women to pick up the mental and administrative load. Ffs.

Gosh yes!!! You’re in the right 100%. Plus I have made sure my DH is on all emails for our DC cos they’re his kids.