What do you all do about passport handovers for holidays? Is it the norm to have it with the travelling parent a little before the holiday?
DP would like DSDs passport so we have it for the travel agent who wants it scanning. We would also like it so we know it is in a safe place ready to travel. This is our first abroad holiday. We've only done UK holidays previously due to mums behaviour and ability to ruin absolutely everything because she can (long story). However this time my dad is treating us all to the holiday and isn't concerned at losing money (where as we really would be). So we are obviously worried that she will ruin the family holiday due to her previous form.
Mum is refusing to hand the passport over until the night before holiday (when she says DP can collect dsd) She has just returned from holiday, so there is no genuine reason to refuse it. She isn't travelling anywhere. Both parents paid half towards the cost of the passport. We now travel in 5 weeks.
I have suggested to DP that instead of asking for the passport, that we ask to collect dsd at a minimum the morning before we travel (so it has time to get to court before we fly if she refuses). Preferably the day before that though, but it is unlikely she will agree... I just can't see her acquiescing on the passport. She probably won't on the handover date and time either, but maybe she will feel she has "won" on the passport front so won't care as much? I don't know. I can't work out how her mind works. What would a fair proposal be?
in the passport conversation tonight DP has also learned that DSD is going to return from holiday with us at 4am (if not delayed!!!) and then fly back out later the same day to THE EXACT SAME DESTINATION! Mum has gone and booked a holiday last week without any discussion. DP knew she wanted to book another holiday but he didn't think she would do something like that!
I mean, why would you even do that?! It is stupid! If we get delayed then that is her holiday ruined, and the added stress on us at how she will punish us all if the flight was delayed (because she will). Also, poor DSD is doing a 4 hour flight home followed by a 4 hour flight back to the same bloody Airport in the same day, with next to no sleep (she is 5!). Just why?!!!
Before the usual crap begins from those who are not step parents, no I wasn't the OW. There was no OW ever. 3 month dating relationship. She wanted a child, was hoping DP would walk, he wouldn't. So now she makes coparenting as difficult as possible. Court orders mean nothing to her. She has breached multiple times, she doesn't care.
So what do you all do with holidays, passports, drop off dates/times etc? And did it ever get easier with regards to this kind of thing? DP has 50/50 holidays and we really would like to do an abroad holiday each year. But if we are paying I'm not sure i can cope with this stress each time of not knowing if she will keep to the order.