In a bad mood until DSC arrive

53 replies

GarlicGnocchi · 13/05/2022 19:33

He can be in a right grump all day but then lo and behold the DSC turn up and he's all sunshine and rainbows and isn't life lovely. Getting sick of it. We have a shared DC and it's not fair on them.

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Casper10 · 15/05/2022 21:01

Reallyreallyborednow · 15/05/2022 10:12

Thing is, being nrp is an utterly shit situation.

imagine being made to live apart from your kids, especially if they’re young, and only seeing them every other weekend.

you would plan on making that time amazing, doing things you wouldn’t normally do, and avoiding arguments and stress. You can’t maintain the same relationship as you do with someone you live with.

i dislike the “disney dad” thing as I think it’s an entirely normal response to the nrp situation. If you do normal boring shit or pull them up on behaviour constantly then you worry they won’t want to come.

i saw my brother go through it and yes he was a stresshead in the run up to a visit because he hadn’t seen them for ages, hated the fact they were rapidly growing away from him, that he couldn’t keep that relationship that you get when you’re there every day, reading bedtime stories and helping with homework. He’d be stressed about all the plans he’d made, would they want to go swimming, would they eat the food, should he let them have macdonalds? Also aware that they didn’t have their own rooms and all the computer consoles etc they were used to- he was living with parents as he couldn’t afford a place where they could stay.

how old are your dc o/p? It may get easier as they get older and can do things with the step dc. You could take them out for a few hours and leave him to it, spend some quality time yourself.

This is very accurate. It is generally a shit situation as I can testify for a nrp.

I think the issue has nothing to do with the sc though it seems like the day to day life when they aren't there is the issue. You say he's grumpy a lot of the time, out of interest how are you when they are with you. I.e. are you happier when they aren't with you (the sc).

This isn't to have a dig or anything but just trying to understand.

SandyY2K · 15/05/2022 22:42

yeah fair enough. I'll just let him get on with it and act like they are the second coming while I get on with actually making their dinner.

Maybe if you didn't live with your kids half the time or even less, you'd be more empathetic and understanding.

You can't possibly know how difficult it is, because you don't have that situation.

Original poster

GarlicGnocchi · 16/05/2022 06:01

SandyY2K · 15/05/2022 22:42

yeah fair enough. I'll just let him get on with it and act like they are the second coming while I get on with actually making their dinner.

Maybe if you didn't live with your kids half the time or even less, you'd be more empathetic and understanding.

You can't possibly know how difficult it is, because you don't have that situation.

Yes good point. I'm just getting a bit fed up of it but I imagine he is extremely fed up of it. I'll try and lighten up a bit about it but I'm not going to change how I am around them. We get on fine.

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