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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Mother's Day

65 replies

QuirkyTurtle · 02/03/2022 08:53

What are you girls doing for it?

I'll send a card to my stepson's mother as usual. I'm sure my SO will give me a card on my stepson's behalf too (he's 2.5 so doesn't understand mother's day).

I think the US has adopted the Sunday after mother's day as 'stepmother's day' so we may start implementing that as well! Once my stepson is old enough that will be up to him to decide of course but I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope he'd consider me when making cards at nursery / school haha.

Do your stepkids recognise you at all on this day?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ProfFloss · 02/03/2022 18:40

@Landedonfeet

Talk about seeing shadows

So you weren’t judging with your last comment? Step mums are treated very harshly on here for doing a job many don’t want, few enjoy and the majority don’t understand.

Landedonfeet · 02/03/2022 19:59

I was not judging

Had she only got together very recently I would suggest that she take a step back and let it pass without comment, as too much too soon

But given in life since 3 months - then very different

As I say… seeing shadows where there were none

KindlyKanga · 02/03/2022 20:11

Forgive me if this is too personal and don't feel you have to answer. When you say you were living with your partner since the baby was 3 months old does that mean you were with your partner knowing he was expecting a child? Ie before you lived together? If so then utmost respect to you, many people would find that too tough. If this is the case then your partner needs to realise how lucky he is and he should be stepping up and making sure you are shown some appreciation on this day.

Original poster

QuirkyTurtle · 02/03/2022 20:28

No he had just been born! A very specific set of circumstances led to us moving in together fairly quickly but explaining that would get a little too close to outing myself on here!

OP posts:

KindlyKanga · 02/03/2022 21:01

Fair enough! I still think he needs to appreciate how you could have so easily left and many would have.

CherylPorter350 · 02/03/2022 22:21

My SKids will wish me happy mothers day, well my SD will, my SS is 16...he barely looks up from his PS5 but that's not unusual and it's not personal lol.

I've been with the kids for 10 years now and it's something they've adopted over the years.

JulittadeMontrigord · 03/03/2022 03:42

Nothing for Mothers Day, here, but I don’t get anything for my birthday or Christmas, either.

I’m not their mother, so don’t expect anything, my own children send cards & presents which I’m more than happy about

Landedonfeet · 03/03/2022 09:12

@JulittadeMontrigord

Nothing for Mothers Day, here, but I don’t get anything for my birthday or Christmas, either.

I’m not their mother, so don’t expect anything, my own children send cards & presents which I’m more than happy about

Nothing for your birthday or Christmas?

How old are they? What is your relationship like with them?

JulittadeMontrigord · 03/03/2022 10:02

They’re adults/almost adults and I’ve been around for almost 14 years. There’s been a lot of issues over the years, but I made the decision a long time ago to detach! It works for me

Landedonfeet · 03/03/2022 10:29

@JulittadeMontrigord

They’re adults/almost adults and I’ve been around for almost 14 years. There’s been a lot of issues over the years, but I made the decision a long time ago to detach! It works for me

14 years and never receive anything for Christmas or birthday I find that genuinely sad

JulittadeMontrigord · 03/03/2022 13:20

"14 years and never receive anything for Christmas or birthday
I find that genuinely sad"

I suppose it is, but I've never questioned it too closely, DH gets very defensive of his kids, not worth an argument.

Landedonfeet · 03/03/2022 20:14

Perhaps it should be. 14 years and not even a birthday card.

COS2102 · 03/03/2022 21:53

My SS is 10 has been buying me something small of his choice for a number of years now. One year his Dad forgot and when he realised it was mother's day he was most upset that they hadn't got me anything so he wrote me a letter telling me why he loves me...he was about 6 at the time. Anything I get will come from his choosing. It is really lovely and I'm so pleased I don't have to have one of these detached relationships where I have to insist on not having a relationship and question why he would get me something.

Ohbuggeritsme · 03/03/2022 22:01

I have two ypung adult DSD's and get a card from them every year, one usually gets me chocolates and the other flowers. Never expected, but always welcomed and very much appreciated x

moonbedazzled · 03/03/2022 22:16

@strawberrystrawberry. I understand what you're saying, that you'd like a card to acknowledge what you do for them. But it does sound to me like you're a wonderful SM and that your SC are making lots of lovely connections with you. I promise you there are posters on here that never as children gave their step parent a card but, as they're older now, see things much differently and clearer and value what their SPs did for them. When I used to buy my mums Mothers Day card, it would be late Saturday afternoon with very little thought. The memories you are making and the behaviour abd trust your SC are showing you, are worth so much more. Give them time to realise how much they appreciate you. You sound so lovely.

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