Although she is 32, she sounds like a stroppy older teen.
How old was she when her parents parted?
Her behaviours sound like she is reclaiming something from her absent father, they seem to have missed out the phase when darling daughter pushes the boundaries & sensible father sets the limits.
There is a power game at play & a loving kind corrective is required so that peace is restored.
So @Fshkiyrcnm, AYBU?
No.
Thinking of children & boundaries, I suggest that you stuff your small children with a juice & bikkie early breakfast & send them into their playroom to see darling daughter just a couple of hours after she gets in after a night out. Close the door gently & let nature take its course. It’s good that they bond, isn’t it!
Once she is sentient, mobile & reasonably alert - a few stiff coffees may help - pop your heads round the door & quickly say ‘we’ve got to pop out for a bit, the kids are thrilled you are here so we’ll leave them with you, back soon’. Be brave, it’ll work.
Do this as many times as is required for her to get out of her pit & join the family for the day, particularly spending time with her father. Your house is not a hotel.
Do not leave her with the run of your home, e.g. take the kids out whilst she sleeps in, have the run if the house whilst you are away, until her less frequent visiting patterns chime with the smooth running of your home.
Word of caution, be utterly sweet & charming as you undertake this campaign because if you are too direct with her, you’ll become the panto stepmother & there’s a box somewhere nearby that answers to the name of Pandora.
Any honest conversations should be with her father & instigated sooner rather than later. You are already fed up enough.