So my partners daughter 16 loves with us and son 15 lives with mum. Not a good relationship with DH and BM especially when it comes to money.
We have been together 8 years her and her new husband have been together 9.
Maintenance is set as we pay £238 for his son and mum pays £39 for daughter as she only works 8-12 hours per week.
Now because his daughter will hit 18 first I said it will be interesting to see what she does is terms of will it stop? Go directly to SD? Increase or decrease etc etc
We always said before she moved in ( 6 months ago) we would probably just transfer them a sum each month to help alongside part time job around £100-130 possibly.
Daughter heard that and must of mentioned it to BM. She has messaged to say she will continue to pay maintenance and she expects the same from us ( I bet you do love at £200 more) so DH said no you work out what you can give SD directly and we will match it for son the following year but it will be equal so there is no unfairness like we are having now having to pay everything for SD as she pays nothing above the £39 whereas we so give SS pocket money outside CSA and money for trips / spending and just leisure in general when he goes out with friends.
She says well she has had 3 other children (with new husband) so cannot afford what we can afford?? Now I'm sorry but household incomes are roughly the same in total
Am I right to say not our problem? You need to step up and support SD also or we will remove financially support for SS when the next year rolls round I know it's not fair but it's unfair for her to completely withdraw and we are left with everything so should it be we support one and you do?
Although I know it won't work because SS will just ask us for stuff and money because mum says no 🤬 stop having bloody kids! We had one together because guess what that's what we could comfortable afford plus I luckily only wanted one