Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

A question for step mums

76 replies

bongobingo43 · 31/12/2021 14:35

I'm not sure where to post my question but I'm
Really just looking to understand my dd's SM's behaviour.....

I 100% know that the vast majority of SMs are not like this and it is not a SM 'bashing' thread - I'm genuinely wanting to understand why she acts the way she acts to make the situation as easy for my Dd as possible.

This has been going on for a couple of years but gradually getting worse. It's like she competes with me in everything and it's becoming more and more blatant.

FaceTime conversations i overheard this week...

A) I took Dd to the cinema then when she was telling her dad and SM about it, SM asked if she'd have had more fun with them than should would've with me.

B) Dd has been asking for a certain brand of shampoo that she uses at her dads house. I believe this is SM's shampoo but Dd wanted it. DD said on the phone "Santa got my the xyz shampoo" (this was just a stocking filler obviously but she was excited about it). SMs response "that's good, we both know that's the best one for shiny hair even if your mum doesn't like it. We both know it's better for your skin than that stuff SHE (I.e. me) has so at least Santa listens"

C) another FaceTime on the 27th. We'd had a really busy Xmas day and Boxing Day. Asked Dd what she wanted to do and her words were that she wanted a "lazy pj day". When dad and SM called they almost interrogate her about what she's been up to. She said "nothing, we're just staying in" and SMs response was "oh that's such a shame, you must be so bored. Don't worry, you'll be having fun with us soon".

The reason I'm worried is that these are just snippets I've over heard without intentionally listening: I've suggested Dd FaceTimes from her bedroom but she doesn't like to sit still and wanders round the house while she chats.

I suspect this is just the type of the iceberg of the nonsense she's fed when she's with them in person.

What do I do? It's not Dds fault so I don't think it's right to make her feel guilty over it? So do I just ignore it? But then what if it escalates? Tbh I don't care about exH and SM but it's almost like they're trying to brainwash Dd or turn her against me?

My suspicion is that SM is very insecure/jealous of my relationship with Dd but would there any other reason? Am I being paranoid thinking she's trying to turn my Dd against me?

Dd is 6, coming up for 7, but is pretty switched on so im hoping she's reaching the age where she will start to see through it!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
justamushypea · 06/01/2022 21:10

My Dscs mum did this with them.
When they were with us she would call and tell them what fun things she had been doing with their little sister and what she has bought them - "I bet you can't wait to come home and see the new stuff I've bought you" etc
Everything we did with them she had to do better. Every gift we bought was trumped by something better.
I think it bothered DH more than the kids, that's why she did it so when we just ignored it she didn't get the satisfaction of knowing she'd got to him!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page