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Original poster

Son caught Corona, is my partner being fair ?

97 replies

AlohaMora123 · 14/10/2021 22:19

Hi,

Son went to his dads on the weekend, his dad tested positive on Monday, son tested positive this evening so we’ve had him do a PCR which should come back soon.

My other half just told me he is really pissed off because my son didn’t do a few things when we got back home like wash his hands before dinner, but my son spent the evening by himself in his room and went to bed. OH suggested my son goes back to his dads.

All night he’s been saying “don touch this, don’t do that” which I get it, my OH doesn’t want to catch it. I feel like he’s being harsh.

He’s 8 after all, yes he’s got corona but not once has he asked him if he’s ok, he’s just told him not to do literally anything at all… Should he have reason to be pissed of or am I in the wrong telling him to cut my son some slack ? After all we’ve all been together the last 4 days chances are if he’s got it we will get it.

Thoughts ?

OP posts:
CiderJolly · 15/10/2021 18:01

If anyone was ‘off’ at all with one of my kids, in his own home, I would tell them to fuck off out of our faces. How dare he?!!

8 is so little, he is unwell, he needs love and care from you, not to be made to feel unwelcome in his own home. How do you tolerate this?

Tattler2 · 15/10/2021 20:07

When a child is told several times by the teacher to wash their hands or separate from kids in the classroom because they may be ill, or they being bullied, abused, or in any way mistreated?

What if the house is the partner's house, should he be asked to leave or should the OP take her sick child to yet another house and possibly expose others?

The partner has a right to have some concern about being exposed to what for many adults has been a very serious or even fatal illness. I don't think that expecting basic hygiene protocols to be followed is an over the top expectation.

candlelightsatdawn · 15/10/2021 20:42

@Tattler2

When a child is told several times by the teacher to wash their hands or separate from kids in the classroom because they may be ill, or they being bullied, abused, or in any way mistreated?

What if the house is the partner's house, should he be asked to leave or should the OP take her sick child to yet another house and possibly expose others?

The partner has a right to have some concern about being exposed to what for many adults has been a very serious or even fatal illness. I don't think that expecting basic hygiene protocols to be followed is an over the top expectation.

Right ? I find some of the comments on here downright disturbing to be honest.

The OPs partner isn't abusing the child on any level. It's a rubbish situation for all parties involved but it's a pandemic it's not like the wash your hands is a new concept.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 16/10/2021 10:39

@dorris88

I'd tell your other half to move out for the isolation period lol
I’d tell him to move out full stop.
Frazzled2207 · 16/10/2021 10:44

I think generally speaking hand hygiene is important but I don’t think it’s a particular factor for catching covid.
Your dp is being unreasonable. If he’s worried about catching it he’s welcome to go and stay in a hotel for a week.

GoldChick · 16/10/2021 10:48

@Tattler2

When a child is told several times by the teacher to wash their hands or separate from kids in the classroom because they may be ill, or they being bullied, abused, or in any way mistreated?

What if the house is the partner's house, should he be asked to leave or should the OP take her sick child to yet another house and possibly expose others?

The partner has a right to have some concern about being exposed to what for many adults has been a very serious or even fatal illness. I don't think that expecting basic hygiene protocols to be followed is an over the top expectation.

I agree, it's like a step parent isn't allowed to have their own fears and concerns. No one else is looking out for his health so probably feels he's just expected to put up with it. If OP shows she and DSC are doing their best to keep him safe it would create a much better atmosphere.
User310 · 16/10/2021 10:55

I have to sympathise with your partner here. I would not take it out on my partners child, but I would want them to minimise the risk as much as possible. To be honest, I’d be mad with you for not making sure your son washed his hands. I have literally got to the point of watching my step daughter and children wash their hands on entry to the house because they are all gross and say they’ve washed their hands when they haven’t. I dont pester any other time, just when they enter the house.

I would also want them to minimise contamination as much as possible, but again I think that is more the parents responsibility not the child’s.

Amybelle88 · 16/10/2021 20:03

One absolute tosser.

candlelightsatdawn · 16/10/2021 20:59

Can I just ask are people really calling the partner names because he wants his SS to wash his hands and practice basic hygiene? In a pandemic.

Has everyone bumped their heads or something ?

GoldChick · 16/10/2021 21:03

@candlelightsatdawn that is my understanding of it. I mean even not in a pandemic it's disgusting to not wash your hands after the loo and spread shit everywhere.

GoldChick · 16/10/2021 21:04

I worry about the food hygiene standards in a lot of these homes

Tattler2 · 17/10/2021 00:14

@GoldChick
I think that if the standard is that it is ok to use a restroom and not wash your hands every single time, you have the answer about food hygiene.

CatonMat · 17/10/2021 00:23

There is a difference between expressing concern and creating a bad atmosphere.
Most grown ups know that.

CheshireChat · 17/10/2021 00:26

There's no way I'd leave my sick 8 yo stuck alone in a room so that a grown man is appeased. If the OP's DP is so bothered, he can stay away.

Plus, what's the poor kid going to do for 10 days if he isn't allowed to touch anything?

By all means, it's fair that the kid needs to wash their hands, sneeze in an elbow etc etc, but he shouldn't be shunned away from his family.

CatonMat · 17/10/2021 00:28

He's so worried that he can't stop issuing orders, canter think to ask if the boy is ok, even once, but here he is, still in the same house.
What a prick.

NomoreSmiggle · 17/10/2021 00:31

Your OH is a dick. I’d kick him out.

GreenLunchBox · 17/10/2021 00:35

@Tattler2

It is not unreasonable for your partner to be concerned about basic hygiene around someone who has tested positive for COVID.In my kids school they are required to use hand sanitizer and to wash their hands several times a day. Teachers are not considered bullies for enforcing these rules.

Pre school and elementary schools are petri.dishes for germs and bacteria because many young children don't wash their hands, cover the noses when they sneeze, and often spray when they speak.

It is not mean ,unreasonable , or uncaring for her partner to want basic hygiene and some reasonable level of isolation around a sick child. If the OP has other children or elderly people in the home, it would be irresponsible not to insist that these things be done.

Being responsible an observant of basic hygiene does not make you uncaring or a bully. Obviously, if the partner saw enough of the child to know that he was both ambulatory and eating, perhaps he had reason to think that he was pretty much aware of the child's status.

True
NauseousNancy · 17/10/2021 00:38

He is 8. My 8 year old step daughter came back from her other parents house who had covid. She was treated as normal - it’s not her fault. We ended up all catching it - which is generally what happens when your children are ill.

We all have worries. But that’s never the kids problem.

excelledyourself · 17/10/2021 00:46

@candlelightsatdawn

Can I just ask are people really calling the partner names because he wants his SS to wash his hands and practice basic hygiene? In a pandemic.

Has everyone bumped their heads or something ?

He's suggested the DC goes back to his dads, and is on his case every time he touches anything.
CatonMat · 17/10/2021 00:51

There is no need to just ask anything.
The op has clearly stated that her partner has been "off", unpleasant, uncaring and generally a twat.

CheshireChat · 17/10/2021 00:51

Also, how would the OP'S DP react if he did end up catching Covid? Would he blame an 8 yo?!

Heck, he's reacting worse than my rather hypochondriac ASD 7yo Hmm.

sillysmiles · 17/10/2021 01:19

The only child i know who had covid isolated in the bedroom with his mom for the duration- didn't mix with the rest of the house. His mother isolated in the room with him.

Perhaps you need to discuss things with your partner rather than "getting on to him to chill out".
The child shouldn't be bullied for being sick, but equally shouldn't be wandering around the house, increasing the risk to everyone else.

NauseousNancy · 17/10/2021 01:25

I just don’t understand the isolating sick children we have with covid. We would never isolate our children if they had flu/sickness bugs etc. Why on earth are we expecting isolation within families for something when they vast majority are now vaccinated and unlikely to become seriously unwell? What on earth are we doing to our kids?

phyllis901 · 17/10/2021 01:47

I won't even treat a stranger like this. You need to protect your son. I am worrying about his mental health under your partner's influence.

PurpleOkapi · 17/10/2021 02:27

This should have been discussed beforehand. That said, he's chosen to live with a child who goes back and forth between households (and probably to school, too), and that child getting covid at some point should have been an obvious possibility. I don't think sending your child back to his dad would be the worst thing ever, assuming the dad is able to care for him, but I don't think you owe it to your partner to do that.