WWYD - covid symptoms

[SnowWhitesSM]

Name change as apparently I'm an evil SM

Dss (8) tested positive on lft yesterday, has a horrible cough that has been keeping him awake, a temperature and a sore throat. He then tested negative on PCR test. He was with his dm when tested.

In my household me, dh, two dc are all negative. Me and dh did PCR test and dc have done multiple lft.

Dh is now saying that dss will be coming over Friday.. apparently its no different than my dc going to school and being surrounded by covid there. Dd also had a friend test positive on lft and negative pcr but she had no symptoms of covid. As she went back to youth club dh says that its no different.

I am really worried. Dh is a bit of an anti vaxer so hasn't been jabbed. I've only had the first one so far. My dds older brother (16) had myocarditis after covid and was seriously unwell in hospital.

I've rang 111 for advice and a clinician is going to ring me back to discuss. I've looked on the NHS and gov.uk web sites and advice is to do another pcr test if you still have symptoms after negative pcr. I'm actually wondering if it wasn't done properly and that's why it came back negative for dss.

To further complicate matter, my dd had a cold two weeks ago. She done multiple negative lft and negative pcr. She wasn't poorly like how dss is poorly and still went to school. Dh is saying that dss has picked covid up from us and we've all had it/or picked it up when we went to the fair last week - but none of us have tested positive argh!

Wwyd? I feel dss should stay with his mum for 10 days tbh.

Ask that he does another PCR test but if not then wait until he arrives on Friday, wear masks, windows open etc & take him for a PCR test yourself

@SnowWhitesSM

If he didn't have two positive lft then I would have assumed it was a nasty virus doing the rounds and not covid. As he had two positive lft with the symptoms then I'm going with covid.

I said to dh about having him extra over half-term because he was so defensive yesterday when we were arguing. He's also sad about not seeing him till next Wednesday so I felt like I wanted to make it up to him - I know that sounds ridiculous but I feel like if dh wasn't married and living with me then he could have made the decision to still have him and catch covid if he wanted to whereas I took that decision away.

I would be really wary of this whole attitude. His defensive behaviour is actually him mistreating and gaslighting you, it's a common thing for dad's in his position to do and it's awful behaviour. Him being defensive does NOT mean he is right to be. In addition to that, you said this is the tip of the iceberg in terms of him considering you. From the above, it sounds like you are showing an awful lot of consideration for him, and he is getting away with not doing the same in return.

You don't need to make up for anything because he is married to you. He chose to marry you and bring other people into the household he SHOULD be considering. Don't grovel for that, it was his decision, you did not "take that away from him". Is he making you feel like you are?

It reads very much like his bullish attitude is making you feel like you are in the wrong and need to make up for things that you do not. It is not your fault his son has Covid and he has other family members to consider. I would not be trying to make anything up to him after the way he acted about this, and by the sounds of things, the way he acts generally.

I hear what you are saying @aSofaNearYou but I was extremely dramatic yesterday. His lack of consideration when it comes to our family and dss is probably our main bone of contention as for him dss is the most important person - whereas I believe in families each person's needs and wants should be taken into account depending on who has the highest need at the time. It has recently felt like a constant battle to be considered so this was the icing on the cake.

@SnowWhitesSM

I hear what you are saying *@aSofaNearYou* but I was extremely dramatic yesterday. His lack of consideration when it comes to our family and dss is probably our main bone of contention as for him dss is the most important person - whereas I believe in families each person's needs and wants should be taken into account depending on who has the highest need at the time. It has recently felt like a constant battle to be considered so this was the icing on the cake.

All of that just shows that you had good reason for being angry at you yesterday, though! Don't undermine yourself now by letting him off the hook for his lack of consideration, and feeding into the narrative that DSS alone is the most important thing, and you owe him for having got in the way. His mentality is way off and needs to change!

Thanks @aSofaNearYou