Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

WWYD - covid symptoms

55 replies

SnowWhitesSM · 04/10/2021 10:07

Name change as apparently I'm an evil SM

Dss (8) tested positive on lft yesterday, has a horrible cough that has been keeping him awake, a temperature and a sore throat. He then tested negative on PCR test. He was with his dm when tested.

In my household me, dh, two dc are all negative. Me and dh did PCR test and dc have done multiple lft.

Dh is now saying that dss will be coming over Friday.. apparently its no different than my dc going to school and being surrounded by covid there. Dd also had a friend test positive on lft and negative pcr but she had no symptoms of covid. As she went back to youth club dh says that its no different.

I am really worried. Dh is a bit of an anti vaxer so hasn't been jabbed. I've only had the first one so far. My dds older brother (16) had myocarditis after covid and was seriously unwell in hospital.

I've rang 111 for advice and a clinician is going to ring me back to discuss. I've looked on the NHS and gov.uk web sites and advice is to do another pcr test if you still have symptoms after negative pcr. I'm actually wondering if it wasn't done properly and that's why it came back negative for dss.

To further complicate matter, my dd had a cold two weeks ago. She done multiple negative lft and negative pcr. She wasn't poorly like how dss is poorly and still went to school. Dh is saying that dss has picked covid up from us and we've all had it/or picked it up when we went to the fair last week - but none of us have tested positive argh!

Wwyd? I feel dss should stay with his mum for 10 days tbh.

OP posts:

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 04/10/2021 15:03

I'm really upset that dh thinks its ok to bring covid into our house tbh. I cannot believe what a thick cunt he's actually being. I'm fuming, he'd rather risk us dying than not see dss for a few extra days. I feel like I'm constantly battling to just be considered in my own life, this is the tip of the iceberg.

Or I'm over reacting, dc may bring it home from school any day now.

OP posts:

aSofaNearYou · 04/10/2021 15:22

Do you have any local family you could go and stay with their the kids, if your DH insists on ignoring the two (more likely to be accurate) positives?

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 04/10/2021 15:33

@aSofaNearYou I've already asked my dm but she's said no as she looks after my grandmother and can't risk my dc bringing it back from school.

If I could afford a hotel for me and dc for 10 nights from Friday then I would, but I've just bought a new car which dilapidated my savings.

OP posts:

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 04/10/2021 15:34

I am thinking that if he insists on bringing dss here then they can sleep in the living room and dh can stay there for 10 days after since he's not jabbed!

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 04/10/2021 16:10

The more I've read the more lft pick up more accurately when symptoms first develop and pcr tests aren't as good until a week or so.

That's not my experience. DD's LFT was negative the morning of her PCR test which came back positive. She had no symptoms at that point either and I'd taken her to be tested as a close contact.

SoupDragon · 04/10/2021 16:10

(The LFT could have been the night before though)

Noogar · 04/10/2021 16:15

I would seriously consider divorce on grounds on unreasonable behaviour.

MeridianB · 04/10/2021 20:04

I wouldn’t be impressed with this. It’s just so unnecessary. Will he insist on DSS coming even if he tests positive on the second PCR?

Is DSS even feeling well enough to come (if he tests negative)?

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 04/10/2021 21:00

@MeridianB no he's saying he won't. We're arguing over the two positive lft imo that, with the symptoms is a clear positive that he's positive.

Dh is also self-employed so won't be able to work if he catches it, I work for the LA so I can take sick leave with relative ease but it makes no sense to get covid if we can avoid it. I know we will probably end up having it with dc in school, I'd just rather avoid getting it for as long as possible.

OP posts:

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 04/10/2021 21:04

And it's conflicted how poorly dss is.

His dm is saying he is poorly, led down all day, coughing, sore throat and hot but dss is saying he's fine and he's led down as its comfier. When dss said he was fine his dm was saying no you're not fine your ill .

OP posts:

NailsNeedDoing · 04/10/2021 21:08

Your DH is completely right that his son should be able to come from his home after two negative PCR tests. He has the right to see his son even if he’s obviously positive IMO, but refusing the visit on negative tests would be crazily controlling. People do still get illnesses that aren’t covid!

SoupDragon · 04/10/2021 21:17

People do still get illnesses that aren’t covid!

Do they generally give a positive LFT?

NailsNeedDoing · 04/10/2021 21:22

Maybe!

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 04/10/2021 21:52

He's had two positive lft so I'm really struggling to believe it's not covid, whatever the result says tomorrow for pcr test today.

I also wouldn't stop dh seeing dss, but he wouldn't be coming back home for 10 days. He's not vaccinated and, like we protected dss from catching covid off his dm I wish for us to do the same for my dc. I don't see how that's controlling, dh is classed as vulnerable and why would we take the risk for the sake of missing contact for a few days?

OP posts:

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 04/10/2021 21:54

Oh and 111 clinician advice was for dh to not see dss and for dss to stay where he is whilst ill.

OP posts:

sassbott · 04/10/2021 21:57

Tbh I’m sort of going to go out on a limb here and say that I agree with your DH. In the event of a negative PCR (and it’s good it’s being repeated), I would be pretty relaxed about this.

My kids are in school daily. Very few children are testing and there is a cold doing the rounds. On top of that I’m commuting back into London where social distancing/ mask wearing (especially on tubes) is non existent.

If my kids had two negative PCRs and my ex was happy for contact to go ahead, then I’d be fine with it. My partner had this scenario a few weeks ago.

Child had symptoms after a very close contact tested positive, negative PCR’s. Contact went ahead. As I said, there are just as many chances of my children bringing it home, so I kind of see his point.

Pinkspecs · 04/10/2021 22:33

As your DH is not double vaccinated if your children catch it or you catch it he will have to self isolate as a close contact, so will you as you wont be classed as fully vaccinated until two weeks after your 2nd jab.
As he's showing symptoms and is positive on lateral flow test that would be enough for me to think it's better he stays at home personally.
Self isolating when you have to still get your kids to school brings a whole host of problems as children under 18 still have to go school even if they are a close contact.

ZenNudist · 04/10/2021 23:27

I think you are overreacting

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 05/10/2021 07:34

So dss pcr came back negative but his grandma on his mums side has now tested positive and she looks after dss after school most days. Dh and ex are treating dss like he's definitely got it because of this (and the two positive lft) so he won't be going to school or coming here until 10 days from last Sunday.

I think I probably over reacted in the arguments yesterday about whether he should come over or not. I will also text dss dm and offer to have him for half term to make up some time and give her a longer break as having him 10 days on a row and not being able to get out is going to be hard going!

OP posts:

Noogar · 05/10/2021 08:04

Sounds like the best way to handle it to me.

aSofaNearYou · 05/10/2021 08:23

@SnowWhitesSM

Glad you've had a positive resolution OP! I don't think you overreacted - you said it was the tip of the iceberg and you are not considered by your DP. I think you reacted appropriately, don't fall over yourself to apologise now. Likewise, why do you need to offer to have DSS for half term? Isn't that for his dad to do/not do?

vivainsomnia · 05/10/2021 09:41

The issue has been resolved but so much misinformation on this thread!

It is absolutely not the case that lft are only accurate if people have no symptoms.

Also pcr tests are much more accurate at all stage of the disease. Two negative test being wrong is highly unliky.

My two children and now OH have been very poorly with chest and throat infections within a 2 months period, one twice. All treated negative on every test they did.

There are a lot of nasty viruses at the moment that mirror covid. Not all cough, fever and nasty cold is covid.

Noogar · 05/10/2021 10:37

Likewise, why do you need to offer to have DSS for half term? Isn't that for his dad to do/not do? that's a good point. If dad is so keen to spend time with him then he can offer?

SoupDragon · 05/10/2021 10:51

There are a lot of nasty viruses at the moment that mirror covid. Not all cough, fever and nasty cold is covid.

Do they give positive LFTs?

Original poster

SnowWhitesSM · 05/10/2021 11:15

If he didn't have two positive lft then I would have assumed it was a nasty virus doing the rounds and not covid. As he had two positive lft with the symptoms then I'm going with covid.

I said to dh about having him extra over half-term because he was so defensive yesterday when we were arguing. He's also sad about not seeing him till next Wednesday so I felt like I wanted to make it up to him - I know that sounds ridiculous but I feel like if dh wasn't married and living with me then he could have made the decision to still have him and catch covid if he wanted to whereas I took that decision away.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3