Unreasonable ex

[SpongebobNoPants]

If you hadn’t seen your child in 3 weeks would you…

A.) Ring ahead of time, make sure child and family knew what time you were picking said child up and send a nice thank you text / call for having the child since 25th August

Or

B.) Turn up outside the house where your child has been, having had barely any contact for a fortnight, not get out of your car which is parked over 100m from the front door, not ring the doorbell but aggressively beep your horn waking the whole neighbourhood up at 9am on a Sunday. Then call your ex angry that your child hasn’t appeared at the curb immediately because she’s still asleep and then storm off and send a barrage of abusive texts

Shall we take a guess as to which scenario just played out at my house??

I'd tell her the number was for emergencies and not to worry next time you'll just send the dirty washing back.

Actually I probably wouldn't. Id just say this number is for emergencies when you can get hold of DH and leave it.

My DP's ex has form for this behaviour. I find it really draining so you have my sympathy OP. My youngest DSS is 20 years old and she's still at it. I always find it weird as she left my DP but still wants his attention.

@Wole

I'd tell her the number was for emergencies and not to worry next time you'll just send the dirty washing back.

This! Since when does a missing sock constitute an emergency?!

I'd text back, "Oh dear, such terrible news about the sock. I'll leave the washing for you in future."

🤣 I would perhaps respond "no odd socks here"

I think I'd just respond with laughing emoji
I mean obviously it's a joke right?

@KylieKoKo

I think I'd just respond with laughing emoji I mean obviously it's a joke right?

I'd just send this 👍🏻

Seriously though, I'd ignore the text. She wants a reaction from you, I just wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Grey rock the fuck out of her. We used to have stuff like this with DPs ex. It was designed to provoke.

@RandomMess

🤣 I would perhaps respond "no odd socks here"

You guys are very funny.

My DP's ex pulls batshit with clothes and hassles him like each item is an emergency.

She moaned about some clothes that weren't sent back. DP noticed SC's bag still had clothes in it he sent back two weeks earlier, so DP asked his ex if she was going to remove those clothes first.

Suddenly sending back those particular items wasn't an emergency....

I’m tempted to make a sock puppet out of it and send her a video of it calling her a twat

How long until you see DSD again?

We’ve got her back this weekend but likely we’ll have her here again before that anyway

Ill raise you this op

If you havnt seen your child for 10 weeks due to Your own behaviour and the RP offers a weekend, do You....

A: Take the weekend

B: Demand a week and when it is refused because that is not what the child wants not bother turning up to collect because its only for a weekend.

A girl can't survive on 4 pairs of school socks you know 😆

Zero that is so bloody sad for your DSC

Dumped his kids during a pandemic refused to see them "due to covid" faked covid when the kids had it (complete with ambulance and almost tragedy) so I wouldn't ask him to help with food shopping while we were isolating (fortunately I have neighbours and friends) his family drive past my house to get food to him (literally couldn't drop off a pint to your grandkids?) Then later in the year messaged me demanding to see "his children" (I never stopped him) and telling me he spoke to social services and 9ne hour twice a week wasn't Unreasonable I was like.....what? One hour? What?

He has stuck to it ever since I'm not even bothering with the argument trying to increase it again

Dps ex is very similar, and like @sassbott, the judge agreed that handover at my home isn't to happen. I also have cameras, and dogs just to make sure. She still wants to come here for handover because 'it's more normal for the children'. Caffcas tried to discuss it with dp without me, then tried to convince me that it would be easier to give her what she wants on this issue. I refused because my own dc don't need the drama of a crazy person outside our house, and that if she turns up at our door, I'd be calling the police and someone else would be taking on any liability if she was bitten or injured while on my property as its very well documented that dp and I have repeatedly said she's not to be here ever. Also I'm sure there are millions of children who do public place handover with absolutely no ill effect.

Our bs messages this weekend are about a happy meal toy that might have been forgotten at our house two or three weeks ago. She messaged me after dp ignored the one she sent to him.

You can not deal with crazy, ignore, ignore, ignore…..

The one and only time (in 8 years) my OH’s crazy EW came to pick the children up (she had never done a pick up or drop off in 8 years) she became so abusive (for absolutely no reason) that the police had to be called (2 officers turned up in a squad car who then called for back up & a van turned up with 8 officers in). At the time we were all in the house while she was shouting abuse on our doorstep).

You can not ration with these women they are so emotionally damaged they are unable to act reasonably.

I thought her behaviour would settle with time, but it gets worse and her behaviour is embedded.

She’s not your issue, detach, detach….

If she wants to sit on the street and blow her horn - let her, she’s the one who looks like an idiot.

She’s so high conflict people she wants to incite conflict.

I don’t give my partners batshit crazy EW absolutely any headspace - she doesn’t deserve it.

Haha I'm right there with you all - DSS's mum sends all kind of plastic crap in a rucksack with him on our weekends (broken happy meal toys, etc) and most recently a large bag of mini mars bars.

This was bizarrely followed up with a loud reminder (yelled from the open window of her car) "don't let daddy and hulahoop eat them all, remember that's mummy's chocolate!!" - well why the fuck send him with them then?!

@SpongebobNoPants

I like the idea of just fully ignoring her like you would a tantrumming toddler.

Well she came back and collected SD without incidence. I naively thought all was fine but I’ve received a really shitty message about a missing sock. Honestly!
I’ve done SD’s washing this weekend when I was doing my own kids, sent her home with all her washing including school uniform ironed and ready to wear but apparently there is one school sock missing from the bag… these are not expensive socks either, bog standard black knee socks of which she has about 10 pairs.

The message said and this is a direct quote.

“Hi Sponge. I can see you’ve done XXX’s washing, next time I’d appreciate it if you sent everything back she came with. She’s missing a school sock so you’ll have to find it and bring it to mine later. I’m going out for dinner so I’ll pull have to put it through the letterbox”

Errrr… would the appropriate response be “How about go fuck yourself?”

I won’t obviously. I’m just not going to engage with her but this is the level of crazy I’m dealing with.

Ahh another sock debacle lol!!

My DSD came to ours on the Friday evening for the weekend, I duly got her clothes so they could be washed - as she HAD to wear them back on the Sunday. Noticed though she wasn't wearing any socks, as was the norm. Come Sunday, I gave DSD a pair of blue trainer socks to wear back to her mum's as her trainer cut into her ankles.

Literally ten minutes after drop off I received a text from my DH's ex to inform me that I wasn't allowed to wash her clothes anymore as I had dyed her socks blue, and would probably end up ruining more clothes......

@Whenitsmytimeitllhappen that actually made me laugh!
Some people are so bizarre

@Whenitsmytimeitllhappen hahaha
DH gor a snotty message having a gobat me for ironing the school shirts as mum doesn't usually do that. WtF

@Wole you ironed their shirts? You monster!

I know. I made her look bad.