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Original poster

What do step kids call you?

79 replies

Whowhat · 16/05/2021 00:41

I'm dating a guy who is a single Dad, if all continues to go well I'll soon be meeting his kids. We were discussing what they should call me. Do your step-kids address you by your first name?

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theDudesmummy · 16/05/2021 12:27

My DSDs have sometime, in very casual contcat with people such as in a shop or something, referred TO me as their mum, because it just sounds more natural and less "telling randoms about my life" than saying stepmum. But talking to me, obviously I am just my name.

AgeLikeWine · 16/05/2021 12:29

I have always called my mum’s husband ‘Tom’, because that’s his name.

tentosix · 16/05/2021 12:30

Come onto Mumsnet, and experience the hatred of stepmothers LOL!

IanHBuckells · 16/05/2021 12:36

I can't tell you what I call my 'mum who is not my mum' the slapped married to my dad because I think it's too rude for MN.

To her face I call her by her first name Halo

ALevelhelp · 16/05/2021 12:38

@tentosix

Come onto Mumsnet, and experience the hatred of stepmothers LOL!
Maybe she needs to come back when she's a step mother then...
Redannie118 · 16/05/2021 12:46

A cutsie version of my real name shes called me since she was 8( shes 21 and still calls me that lol) weve had pretty much full custody of her since that age( still sees mum sometimes, mums choice)but she still calls biomum "mum" and I would never ever expect different. If she introduces me Im her step mum.

PremierLynn · 16/05/2021 12:52

@Whowhat

Question came because while there are endless words for gran/granny/nan/grandma and there is use of "auntie" for young children to use for close adult family friends. But there isn't a word for young children to use for "mum-but-not-my-real-mum".
Is this a joke?
funinthesun19 · 16/05/2021 13:03

Ex’s child used to call me by my first name.

I would have hated being called mum.

KM38 · 16/05/2021 13:06

@Sparklemummyx0x0x

My son's step mum has been in his life since around 18months old. He's now 12.

Despite the fact she's a brilliant parent to him and I couldn't ask for someone nicer to help bring him up, she's always been called by her first name.
I don't think she would want to be called anything else though I've never asked and he's never slipped up by accident in my presence.
Years ago his dad did try getting him to call her 'mummy Joan' (not real name) but I soon stopped that.

I know her older son calls my ex 'dad' but that's their own relationship and it must work for them though I find it strange and wonder what his actual dad thinks of it.

I can understand a step parent being in a child's life from young where it's the only other parent they've known being called mum or dad, and families come in all shapes and sizes so each to their own. Just not in mine, no matter what I think of his step mum.

Completely agree with this @Sparklemummyx0x0x 👍🏻 And I’ve have stopped the “mummy Joan” too!! Also lovely to hear you praising stepmum 😊 step parents often seem to get bashed by the other parent but it’s nice to see a relationship where you respect her position and she (I assume) respects yours.
Checkingout811 · 16/05/2021 13:07

You’re not their mum and you never will be. They should call you by your name.

mumjustmum · 16/05/2021 13:08

This has GOT to be a wind up!? @Whowhat are you 13?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 16/05/2021 13:10

In my day it would have been 'Auntie'. First name - NEVER. All my Mum's friends were 'Mrs xxx'.

Mind you, I'm marriage-free and would correct anyone who called me 'Mrs', but I am aware that these traditions have not died out.

Pumpkinstace · 16/05/2021 13:11

They call me by my name, Janine.

Except the little one, he calls me Najeen. Too cute to correct him.

Maybe83 · 16/05/2021 13:12

My name and my dd calls dh his name. My ds would call me his dad's wife of step mum if talking about me. Dd would refer to dh as her dad if talking about him outside of the family in conversation. As in to her friends my dad is giving me a lift etc.

We are together a long time and have a child together. So I think considering you haven't even met them yet your name and your role in their life is my dad's girlfriend should cover it.

KM38 · 16/05/2021 13:15

@Pumpkinstace

They call me by my name, Janine.

Except the little one, he calls me Najeen. Too cute to correct him.

😭😭😭 Najeen 🥰 this melts my heart and I don’t even know you 🤣
FishyFriday · 16/05/2021 13:15

@YetAnotherSpartacus

In my day it would have been 'Auntie'. First name - NEVER. All my Mum's friends were 'Mrs xxx'.

Mind you, I'm marriage-free and would correct anyone who called me 'Mrs', but I am aware that these traditions have not died out.

I would find it quite odd if the SC referred to me as Mrs Friday. Auntie Fishy wouldn't be so bad but my H would have none of that (due to pedantry).

Can you imagine the responses you'd get on this board if that's what you wanted your SC to address you formally? 😂

UndeadSlut · 16/05/2021 13:30

My kids call my partner by his first name, and can't see that ever being changed! They have a dad, and it's not DP.

I'd be devastated if ex ever tried getting them to call a partner of his "mum", and if it was a girlfriend they hadn't even met yet I'd laugh in his face.

peboh · 16/05/2021 13:34

Your name. What would you want to be called? You're not their mum, you're not their aunt, you're not their grandparent.

unicornsarereal72 · 16/05/2021 13:56

My parent both remarried. It's been 40 years. I use their names. And will continue to do so.

hadtojoin · 16/05/2021 17:01

I was always called Auntie (name) as a child. Now she is in her 30's it varies between auntie (name) and just my name.

queenofthenorthwest · 16/05/2021 17:34

By my first name. But when they talk about me or introduce me they say this is my step mum. I'm dead proud they say that Grin

SandyY2K · 16/05/2021 19:33

Come onto Mumsnet, and experience the hatred of stepmothers LOL!

It's mostly stepmothers responding and I'm not seeing the hatred..Just the shock that someone who has not even met her boyfriend's children is expecting to be called some type of mum name.

MiddleParking · 16/05/2021 21:16

@tentosix

Come onto Mumsnet, and experience the hatred of stepmothers LOL!
Most of the comments are directed at OP, not stepmothers.
Guavafish · 16/05/2021 21:20

First name
Auntie
Nickname

lucy5236 · 16/05/2021 21:36

Surely this is a wind up??

My DS has a stepmum that been in his life for about a year. They get on well and he loves her but calls her by her first name. No doubt he sometimes accidentally says "mum" but in the same way that after a weekend at his dads, I get "dad" or "stepmums first name".....or occasionally on a weekday I get called his teachers name....

One piece of advice is that my DS initially got on well with her and still does now. There was a rocky patch when they first moved in together and DS didn't want anything to do with her. Finally got to the bottom of it and it turns out he was worried about her trying to take on a "mum like" role which he was not impressed with so of you go in expecting this you might actually push them away and do more harm than good. You need to be introduced gently & slowly and adapt depending on their reaction

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