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Original poster

Holiday aggro

81 replies

ihavenowords30 · 15/05/2021 22:45

So for lots of reasons myself and my partner have had a absolutely horrid 18 months and decided that we are booking a holiday abroad next may, now there is myself DP and out 3 year old. We extended the invite to my partners 3 kids. His 2 boys (14 & 18) straight away said no they don't like the heat and no gaming / wifi etc. They asked if we would still be doing a uk air bnb type break down south next summer and we said yes so they were happy and ticked off the list.

SD 14 However was very excited and 100% wants to go so we agreed we would go in may half term so she could come.

We approached this with her mum today and was told flat out no she wasn't going on holiday in may as she starts exams in June so she has to revise due to missing school... now she's very bright and was doing well e learning so no concerns about achieving results. SD is gutted.

We have 2 family weddings and other money commitments through July / august so no chance of taking the week then either, and as I mentioned we are in need of a break so not holding out till Oct 2022.

I posted another thread recently about the ex and her having issues with money / debts so we thought she would Jump at the chance for the kids holidays being sorted by us next year but no...

Anyway we've said to think about it until next weekend the we are booking either in the half term with SD or out of half term just the 3 of us for this one.

Any one had this before and managed to resolve?

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 16/05/2021 06:31

@SnarkyBag that's wrong the exam timings have all changed this year depending on the school

exLtEveDallas · 16/05/2021 06:32

GCSEs in 2022 will probably be a mixture of exams and teacher assessments, but should all be finished by end June (incl a weeks grace for further assessments like they are having this year.

I would book a holiday in the first week of July that DSD could join you for. It’s likely to be cheaper than May half term as well.

mrsbitaly · 16/05/2021 06:36

I appreciate that your SD is bright but let's face it they haven't had the full learning experience have they? So GCSEs will be hard and her mum is right to want to prioritise that. On the other hand she could be being difficult and using it as an excuse you may think she would snap your hand off at the chance but maybe she feels jealous of you being able to do that and not her? I know it's a shame but it's such an important year.

User135792468 · 16/05/2021 06:45

I think you’re 100% in the wrong. Everybody with half a brain knows that you don’t book a holiday in either Easter or May half term of Y11 or Y13. Stop trying to pick fault with her mum as she’s the one who has now been put in the position of “bad guy” because your adult husband couldn’t contain his excitement. Whilst it’s nice you want to include her, I’m sure when it’s your own child sitting their GCSE’s you will realise what a ridiculous idea a holiday at that time is.

lunar1 · 16/05/2021 07:07

You've been incredibly unfair and set the mum up to be the bad guy here. There is no way a child doing their GCSE's should go away then. She may also have course work to be finalising at that point.

She will have finished her exams before the proper summer holidays, could you not go then?

Pleaseaddcaffine · 16/05/2021 07:11

Hey op well tbh if that's only time you can go then not sure how your being unfair. You invited and it's not possible, so that's that and is fine. You n your toddler and dp go away, assuming one of you is a teacher etc so half terms only option. Then all of you do the UK break together after exams.
Simples.
Dsd will be fine, just explain exams are important and going away later in year so will get a holiday. Also I assume you will be going away in the future too and invite them say next year or year after.

Goatsgetmygoat · 16/05/2021 07:13

Bit shit of your DH - doesn’t he know she’s got her GCSEs coming up? Think it’s unfair and made her mum look like the baddie. You should find the time in august to go

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 16/05/2021 07:16

Go the first week in July. Exams will be over, 3yo isn't tied to term times yet.
If you have the money in May, then you have it for July.

You've (possibly unintentionally) made mum out to be the bad guy. You should have spoken to her before mentioning it to the kids. It's also a but silly of dad not to realise the age of his DD and that she will be doing GCSE exams next year. You're the family in the wrong here.

Branleuse · 16/05/2021 07:17

You cant really go away the may they have exams. Its peak exam time. Youd be better waiting till july when theyre all done

Onceuponatime1818 · 16/05/2021 07:25

As a teacher I agree with mum, especially if going abroad. If she returned and had to isolate for 10 days she may miss vital exams.

IReallyNeedMoreGin · 16/05/2021 07:41

No way would I have allowed my DC time off school during their GCSE's, not even in the first year, never mind so close to the end! I'm with their mum on this.

Bluntness100 · 16/05/2021 07:44

I also agree with the mother here, that’s before her gcses it would be irresponsible to take her on holiday.

Egghead81 · 16/05/2021 07:48

This is something for your teen SD to discuss with her mother

A normal part of a parent / teen relationship. Negotiating what’s reasonable for study.

If her mother sticks her heels in, then personally I would book a long weekend for me, DP and child ASAP (you aren’t restricted to school hols)

And then a long weekend after SD exams

Egghead81 · 16/05/2021 07:49

I’m inclined to side with the mother re the studying though.

And no matter how well she’s doing, most studious will regard the immediate weeks before exams as not the time for a holiday.

SnarkyBag · 16/05/2021 08:05

[quote YukoandHiro]@SnarkyBag that's wrong the exam timings have all changed this year depending on the school [/quote]
We’re not talking about this year though are we? The OP said the holiday is for next year. Going on the assumption that there are no more closures then timings will likely return to normal.

dragoncena · 16/05/2021 09:51

The last 3 years we've struck off Easter or May half term as viable holiday options due to dd either being GCSE, AS or A Level years. It's very unwise to interrupt their study time during these years.

Jumpingintosummer · 16/05/2021 09:55

For information my DD has an exam on the May bank holiday this year. School officially closed but open for exam.

EsmeeMerlin · 16/05/2021 10:01

I remember having to go into school the week of May half term for revision and to do some coursework. It’s peak revision time. I can understand mum not wanting her to go. Also agree that you have set the mum up to be the bad guy by telling dd about the holiday without consulting mum and the timing.

Wishitsnows · 16/05/2021 10:04

There must be some other time you can go. The school may have extra study lessons in the half term. It would be a very bad idea to holiday right before GCSE's.

Branleuse · 16/05/2021 10:06

could you consider the october half term instead?

Mintjulia · 16/05/2021 10:08

I agree with her mum. Her exams could impact her entire life so are a lot more important than a holiday.
Take her away the following year.

Pinkyxx · 16/05/2021 10:28

I wouldn't agree to a holiday right before exams either. I'd be pretty peeved the suggestion had been made.. GCSE are important and will influence her A level choices. Far too important to take the focus away from studying with a holiday.

user648482729 · 16/05/2021 13:09

I wouldn’t take my DC away on holiday the half term before exams so I don’t think she’s unreasonable and I think you and your DH should have thought about it before in all honesty and talked to her mum about it.
I’m a step parent and I try not to criticise on this forum as we get a lot of it anyway but in the same position with your DC what would you do as I suspect that you probably would have thought about the timing in advance and would be more willing to wait until it was a good time for them. I was taken away on holiday just before exams and holidays just aren’t conducive with revising.
Is there a reason you can’t go over Easter though?

BusyLizzie61 · 16/05/2021 13:40

[quote ihavenowords30]@SnarkyBag I did point this out to DH, I didn't want her told till after but he got excited and bulldozed I'm so yes that's annoying.

I know revision is only part the problem and it's deeper than that. She did accuse us of only inviting SD as a babysitter for our toddler 😂 [/quote]
The Joint Council for Qualifications (JCQ) has released a provisional GCSE exam timetable available here. GCSE exams will run from Monday 24 May 2021 to Friday 2 July 2021. So why can you not allocate the money from May to July? If you're spending the money it matter not when you're spending it surely?

Egghead81 · 16/05/2021 16:41

I’d be pissed off if I was the mother

You’ve not thought this through. Only that you’re desperate for a holiday. And you’re forcing the mother in to “bad cop” role

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