AIBU?

[PicturePicture]

One joint DC, two step DC.

Bought a canvas print of our DC for bedroom, didn't get one of DSC but that are normal pictures in frames of them around house as there is of everyone.

But there are**

I mean I can see why they'd be upset tbh

I think YABU, a bit. I can see why you want one of your child and not your step children, but it does send an overt message.

you bought a print? Who did? Why only one DC?

Was it a print you bought just for yourself or as a gift for your partner?

I think YABU. Because while they’re not your children they’re your DH’s children, so the message to them is very clear, that their dad wants a picture of just his child with you and not them.

I bought the print with some money I got for my birthday off my Mum. It's not a huge one, just an average sizes canvas print of a picture of DC on that I love.

There are pictures of DSC in the room too, in frames rather than a canvas print though.

I don’t think your BU.
It’s a treat for you and it’s in your bedroom.

It’s fair enough then. It’s your present from your mum.

Yes it was for me from me and is in our bedroom. It's on the wall by my dressing table.

@AlternativePerspective

I think YABU. Because while they’re not your children they’re your DH’s children, so the message to them is very clear, that their dad wants a picture of just his child with you and not them.

There are pictures of just them in the house too. Not every picture involves every family member.

Of course YANBU. Stepmums are allowed some nice pictures of their own children on the wall. Like you say, there’s a mixture of different ones.

Also, this was a gift you bought for yourself with your birthday money. It’s something special personally for you.

If it’s a specially taken picture of the family, unreasonable. If it’s your child only, I don’t see an issue.

I can see it from both points of view to be honest. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong party.
How old are your step-children? I think that has a big bearing on it to be honest. An 18 year old would be able to understand it better than a 10 year old for example

I don’t think YABU. You are allowed a picture of a child on their own. If there are other pictures of them around I don’t see an issue

Where is the dressing table? if on the main wall opposite the bed o you and DP look up and see your joint DC only - then yes it is an issue

small picture your side of the bed slightly different

no picture of DSC in your bedroom - not acceptable either
Their father has all the DCS not just the joint ones.

You can have your own pics no issues where they are displayed in this context is all important.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Why shouldn't you have a canvas made of your child. It's not like you've put it pride of place about the mantle.

Well, you're obviously not technically being unreasonable, it's your house and your money and you've every right to put whatever you want on the walls.

I wouldn't have done this, personally. It's a special portrait canvas, not a normal photo stuck in a frame, it's different and I think a stepchild would feel excluded and sad. It definitely sends the message that the child in the portrait is adored a bit more - which of course they are, by you, but there's no need to rub it in. Being a stepchild generally sucks. So I wouldn't do it. But then I think those canvases are cringe anyway.

Does anyone have an issue with it, or are you just gathering opinions?

No way are you being unreasonable, I have pics of each of my children separately, some together but some on their own, I don’t see the diffeeence

@bogoffmda

Where is the dressing table? if on the main wall opposite the bed o you and DP look up and see your joint DC only - then yes it is an issue

small picture your side of the bed slightly different

no picture of DSC in your bedroom - not acceptable either
Their father has all the DCS not just the joint ones.

You can have your own pics no issues where they are displayed in this context is all important.

It's along the side wall in the bedroom, medium sized canvas, not massive, not small. Not above the bed or anything.

I can't see the problem with this.

Back in the real world this is clearly a non issue. MN will tell you you're the wicked step mother for it though. Our house is full of pictures of our shared children only. There's pictures of the step children too but significantly less of them. They're a lot older and hate having their photos taken. It doesn't mean the children are loved any less

We've got pictures on our bedroom wall of our first shared child and not the subsequent ones or any of the SDC because we just haven't added anymore. It doesn't mean that child is my favourite

Back in the real world this is clearly a non issue. MN will tell you you're the wicked step mother for it though.

Except they haven’t.

Yanbu

I have a pic of DS on my bedside table, there are no pics of DSC in the bedroom.

Has someone complained or is this a hypothetical question?