Moving in worries

[ellepp]

Me and my DP have just started talking about moving in together after being together for 2 years. We both have similar aged boys who get on well. DP is a good dad and spends lots of time with his son.

Although we have only started discussing the logistics of having one home, I do have quite a big worry and I just wondered if people think I'm over thinking things.

My DP enjoys gaming and so does his son. My concern is that when he has his son over, that's all they do, bar maybe an hour or two. Literally all day long. My son quite likes playing too, but I limit his time on there. Both our DC are 8 and I just don't agree with spending hours playing computer.

I know if we move in together they will continue to play for hours on end and my son will still only be allowed limited time on there which he may think is unfair.

This all probably sounds silly, but I think it could cause problems?

He sounds like a piss poor parent op, and not a good role model for your son. I definitely wouldn’t move in with him. I’m not even sure what you mean by he wouldn’t allow you to remain living separately.

@SandyY2K When the boys are together I will suggest various days out etc but 9/10 DP's son will only want to play game.

When me and DP are on our own he doesn't really play much, just now and again.

Who's supposed to be moving in with who? And why? To save money for someone? There just seems no point.

I wouldn't move in. It's unreasonable to expect your son to not game if dp and his son are. The same rules applying for both boys would be critical in your case- especially as they are the same age. If there was a big difference at least you could say to your son that X is much older so can game more than him.

I think that it will be an inevitable source of resentment if he has to game less and your son gets to game more in order to reach a compromise. At the end of the day your partner is a lazy parent and even if his son visits when yours isn't there, you'll be gooseberry every visit.