14yr old wants boyfriend to stay over

[Sandfly46]

My husband's 14 year old daughter stays with us a couple of days every month. This time she want her boyfriend of 3 months to come and stay (not in the same room). My husband has agreed to this and is paying for his flights and travel. Im sick about it! I see no healthy reason to allow a boyfriend to stay overnight with a child even in a different room. DH just wants to keep her happy so basically agrees to whatever she wants so he doesn't lose her. I'm really struggling with his lack of parental boundaries and moral compass.

SD and BF live in the same town, so they see each other every day (they go to the same school) and hubby is flying them both down to our place together. Hubby is scared of losing her as he feels terribly guilty about not being there to raise her full time (even though his ex left him, not the other way round). He actually doesn't agree with the situation either and said he will stand guard with a gun outside the bedroom door. But in his mind he just wants to keep his precious girl in his life by accepting her every demand. I have told him I will move out of the house while the BF is here because I am so against situation

We don't have covid in NZ....

Just be prepared to be a grandparent in 9 months.

If he doesn't agree with the situation then he needs to step up and be her parent, not her friend.
Her behaviour is screaming out for attention and boundaries.

I have told him I will move out of the house while the BF is here because I am so against situation.

I don't blame you one bit.

@andtheHossyourodeinon please stop embarrassing yourself. I'm a detective on a child sexual exploitation team. I have a suspect interview with a 16 year old who has been in a sexual relationship with a 13 year old next week. Discretion will of course be used but yes, it is sexual activity with a child. Hopefully that clears it up.

OP, you sound lovely and about the only person who gives a shit about this poor girl.

Oh and OP read up about 'Mini Wife Syndrome'. I think some of it may resonate with you....

Your ‘hubby’ is garbage, OP, what a dreadful example you’re giving to your own kids on how low the bar is for men.

@evenBetter don't put the blame at OP for this! Christ, it's the girls actual dad and mum who are at fault here and have full responsibility for this awful situation ffs. The OP appears to be the only one actually giving a shit about her.

Of course it’s the child’s parents who are utter failures as parents, it is not the role of the fathers latest spouse to provide any parenting for his children, in any case, so many awful failures of men pick any woman who’ll accept them, in order to discard their already damaged kid onto, and no one should be accepting that. OP should obviously have reported the images of child sexual abuse to the police, since the fail’dad’ doesn’t give a shit about his kid.