A little bit of back story, been with husband 5 years SS is now 10 and we always had him every other weekend and a little longer in holidays, maybe 3 or 4 nights as we were never allowed more. We had to pay maintenance plus £25 every time we fetched him (her rules) basically she was charging us to see him.
SS lives 80miles away with his mum so we wanted to see him EOW at least and when we stopped paying the £25 she changed it to us having to fetch him Friday at 6 (after work) so wouldn't get home till after 8 with traffic and him be home mid afternoon Saturday which we weren't happy about as it meant we couldn't do anything as a family or have days out. My children live with us and see their dad on the opposite weekend so it was our weekend with them.
She stopped visits all together and said SS didn't want to come anymore. We kept with the regular contact via text, rare replies and didn't force him to come and let him decide. Since then he's been 3 times, he hasn't answered his phone for the last 18months and has text back once saying "I want a new phone"
Anyway... we received a letter early January from CMA saying we weren't paying any child maintenance (we always have) and they wanted to check our finances. It turns out we had been paying too much and were advised to drop the payments to what they suggest. We did this but kept the extra we were paying to one side in an account for SS.
Still had no contact, no replies to messages etc and last week we got a letter again from CMA saying the liability has ended and we owe her £2350? DH phoned them and asked why and they said she has phoned them and said DH hasn't been paying and she wants the full amount now 😂 we have all bank statements to prove it's paid every month so what is she thinking??
We have confronted her via text and she gave us a load of abuse on how SS hates us both and she will always have him and we won't blah blah she's told us they have moved, that DH is a shit dad and his son knows he pays nothing and doesn't want to see him and he loves his mum and only wants to stay with her and now we've been blocked from all numbers. Tried ringing off my friends phone and the numbers no longer exist.
What do we do? We know nothing about SS, where they are, who they're friends with. We've never even known his school.
Do we leave it and hope when he's older he will realise or do we chase after him and put him in a position and like he's being forced to have a relationship with us??