Regretting getting involved.

[Justbecause88]

Does anyone ever regret getting involved with someone with kids and an Ex wife? I feel constantly like I’m the lowest priority to my DH. He tells me all the time he loves his kids more and they come first. I understand that, I’ve got a 10 month old DS (with my DH) who I love very much. But I wouldn’t keep telling my husband how much more important he is to me then him. He puts his own happiness, wants and needs way way below his DS’s, and as a result our lives are totally dictated by his ex and the kids. His ex hates me and I can’t do right for wrong with her, if I get involved I’m interfering and if I back off she rings my DH and asks why I have an issue with her DS. She makes life really difficult on purpose, my DH will bend over backwards as a result and me and my DS are forgotten about.
Surely life should involve your kids not revolve entirely around them (once teenagers, not talking about young kids here). I’m feeling like I really regret it all (not my DS of course) and should have found someone with no baggage.

This isn't a marriage I would be willing to stay in. Children are a priority, but the way in which he says it and his behaviour making you and your DS feel less important is the reason I would exit from the marriage.

It send like his children from the first relationship are more important than his child with you. That's not acceptable to me.

If you remain in the marriage, you need to change your mindset and tell him its fine for him to prioritise his DCs over you... but you will also be prioritising your DS over him and he'll have to accept that.

A pp upthread said she changed her behaviour and started last minute cancellations etc..

You need to do the same. Tell him you don't want to hear what his Ex had to say and just as he prioritises his DC ... your doing the same.

If he kept on badgering you... it seems like he sides with his Ex.

Does he spend time with your son? Is he hands on? Or was it you who wanted the baby more so than him.

You need to decide if this if the life you're prepared to live.