DSD 7 screaming

[OneDayAtATimex]

DSD is 7 and stays with us every weekend on a Friday till Sunday morning. We occasionally have her one night in the week also.

She's a nightmare when it comes to bed time sometimes, she left her mum about 2pm but is screaming to go home.

It's just her avoiding bed time but she really screams constantly, works herself into a right mess and it goes on for hours.

I leave DP to manage it and I go in and give him a break after a while but he then takes back over. She's had her favourite dinner, we've played some of her games she got for Xmas and she's had time on her iPad.

We've let her go home once before and it started a whole load of other problems, she started demanding at the drop of a hat to be picked up and would scream, again for hours, if she couldn't be picked up to go home.

It started to interfere with her mums work and quite frankly, a 6 year old doesn't get to dictate...

How would you manage this? I have no kids and it's DPs only child so we're all learning.

She's very stubborn and will cry for hours...

I think there really needs to be some consequences for the screaming. As a PP suggested if she doesn’t scream then she gets iPad in the morning and a little in the afternoon (not at bed time) if she screams she doesn’t get any for that day.

Otherwise what’s to stop her keep doing it? It gets her attention and no consequences for her.

Good luck OP!

I agree to the consequences.
This child doesn’t have any. So why should she stop? And if you think this ability to ‘control’ and attract attention will stop in the hope she grows out of it, it won’t IME. She’s enjoying her ability to control bedtimes and subsequently control the adults time. I think it’s quite thoughtful of you to take her shopping for lovely things for her room. But in my view, you just rewarded her. She screams non stop and gets lots of pretty new things? Wow. Think about it.

These things could have been linked to a reward chart. It’s not the environment doing it, based on the fact that you say she does this other places.

I’m curious. Is your partner exhausted by this? Or does he find the nightly cuddle time quite nice? Because he too could absolutely be perpetuating this if he (secretly) likes cuddle time with his DD. Nothing wrong with it by the way. I understand. But there’s a chance his daughter is picking up on that too.

She actually went home early yesterday. We don't let her call her mum before she goes to sleep, it makes it worse so DP decided not to allow it anymore.

She's actually a lovely little girl when it's not bed time. DP does become exhausted and short tempered when she starts screaming, so then i take over because the last thing she needs is her dad shouting. It would drain anyone because it literally goes on for hours.

I totally agree @atomic, it's difficult being the 'step' parent as such. DP is far too soft on her sometimes.

Why did she go home early, OP?