Fed up

[Iamnotagoddess]

I am just having an anonymous moan - I have no one to moan to in RL today.

So fed up of being expected to be involved in everything when DSDs are here but getting my head bitten off for having an opinion.

For example. I do all the cooking, have planned meals for the weekend we have just been swimming but the girls didn’t want lunch first (they had a late breakfast at about 11am) so I suggest we get a snack.

He goes to Greg’s and gets them a fucking huge baguette each.

They are not going to want to eat again at bloody 6/7pm - so I express my perplexity and he has a huge go at me, in front of the kids.

*forces sorry

So you enjoy cooking but you want appreciation for it. Appreciation is not coming, it is clearly taken for granted, so you either give it up eow, cook but accept you won't be thanked for it.

You can't make him obey by your -very reasonable- rules if he doesn't want to. So however much you enjoy cooking and it makes for you to do so, you need to stop doing it, until he appreciate what it means doing it and he start to stick to the rules that kids don't eat a meal 2 hours before a cook meal is planned.

I guess I just want DH and I to be on the same page and we aren’t.

“you know” plenty of people is totally different to being a forced family actually

Actually.....i know from personal lived experience of living on base for the first 16 years of my life.

It comes down to the individual - and your husband DOES NOT WANT TO BEHAVE LIKE AN EQUAL PARTNER.

It might sound nasty....but you need to stop bullshitting yourself that his attitude is acceptable.

@monkeymonkey2010.

Your posts are aggressive and unecessarily nasty.

He lives in a room on base with no kitchen, he isn’t in a house. Not everyone has to be good at cooking, it’s not a crime and there are things he does that I don’t do.

My issue isn’t about doing the cooking.

My posts are not aggressive or nasty - you just seem to have a problem with reality.
The guy has weekends and holidays off-base - so absolutely no excuse for not learning to cook.
He can't be bothered parenting his own children the short time that he has them - and driving them backwards and forwards for contact time does NOT make a good dad.

It sounds like you actually enjoy playing the martyr and what you're actually pissed off with is that he doesn't appreciate your 'sacrifice'.....

Oh lord. This would do my head in.
But this is the point where I will happily admit that this is something I would do and then my kids would happily have a bowl of cereal before bed.

My weekends with my DC are all about lazy mornings. Late bacon butties. Which then pushes lunch to 3ish. Makes light supper happen about 7ish.

I think it comes down to values. My parents were regimental about this sort of stuff and I hated it. So whilst during the week there is a routine (unavoidable with bedtimes/ school/ early breakfast pre school), weekends are all about going with the flow.

That being said. If the expectation was that when the children collectively turned to me and announced they were hungry that I had to arrange/ organise supper I would not be happy.

If like you I was a cook and took pride in doing this and then it was taken for granted? Yeah I’d be annoyed too.

Sorry I but I think he should step up and start doing some cooking. Everyone can make beans on toast. Just saying.