Anger/frustration

[Giggles89]

How do all you mums who's step kids mums are intolerable,vindictive,narcissistic and just generally infuriating cope? Where do you vent your anger to? I'm on the edge right about now and really don't know how to channel all the anger that I have towards her.

[TwentyEight12]

I think he was 8 when he came out with it.

[hsegfiugseskufh]

dss is almost 15, and he knows what his mum is like, but unfortunately as time goes on he seems to be accepting it and actually becoming more like her. He first noticed she was a dick when she kicked him out when he was 13.

she does a lot of "its us or them" though and he always sides with her, because he knows she means it, but also knows that we wont abandom him for choosing her.

Its a shit situation all round. The light at the end of the tunnel for me is when he is 18 and legally she has fuck all to do with us. She also owes us a lot of money which is to be paid when dss is 18, so it would be the line drawn under everything, everything settled.

I imagine at future things like weddings / grandchildren / family events she will continue to act like a psycho because that's just who she is.

[ButterflyOne1]

So basically the cycle never ends lol

I did have the vision of when the kids are older then we won't have to deal with her but it will be the future events too. At least it should be less frequent.

[blackcat86]

I always try and consider what is happening for mum who I believe to have got pregnant at the first opportunity because her family told when women should be cared for. I feel for her that society continued to change around her and that isn't what happened. However, my patience wears thin now I have my own baby and when I see her blatant neglect of her child. DSS is coming to a pivotal academic point and is floundering with little supervision, guidance or direction. All concerns are ignored and when we look at colleges online or whatever with him, mum just ignores related messages about options or open days. DSS says she simply wont discuss it and is disinterested/head in the sand. I just cant get my head around that lack of interest and caring for your own child. I've detached myself somewhat emotionally but try and keep a welcome and loving home with DH for DSS so he knows we are here. Despite working my way up in a related field I was apparently 'born with a silver spoon in my mouth'. My dps were dirt poor but I understand she doesn't actually care what the truth is.

[TwentyEight12]

Sometimes it ends when they get a fella, but not always. In my case this didn’t happen but I have heard from some SMs that it has.

Sometimes, rarely, they let go of the bitterness all by themselves and it ends there.

Sometimes it ends with court cases.

Sometimes it never ends and they die bitter/crazy.

As we all have to live our lives regardless of when they decide to stop being bitter or crazy or both, the only remaining option is as I and many other have said before, to leave the relationship or just disengage. Because you cannot spend and shouldn’t spend large chunks of your life being a victim to someone else’s mental health problems. None of us will ever look back on our deathbeds and think ‘I’m so glad I spent x amount of years worrying about BM and her behaviour’.

They just aren’t worth it.

[indy315]

Vent to some one close to you. Have a nice night with a friend and just tel them everything. You will feel so much better afterwards letting it out.

[WitchyMcpooface]

It got worse for us when BM met someone else. She’s married now and doesn’t need us, so no longer communicates with us because she doesn’t have too apparently. Before she was just a pain in my arse and my SD was the problem. Then when she met her now husband her behaviour just got worse. She lies to her daughter all the time. She wasn’t so bad with her previous partner but we know she has spun a web of lies to this one. My SD is 17 now and is extremely loyal to her BM even though she knows what her BM is like. It’s very sad. X