Need some info

[Chociefish]

Can anyone explain to a complete novice what the done thing is regarding ex step children. I have never been in this situation before. While the ex wife is inappropriate and this bothers me I don't want this to impact on ex step kids. How much contact should there be with older kids?

There isn't a standard done thing really. It depends on the nature of your relationship with the SC and their ages.

Could you remain in contact independently? Would the children and their parents want that?

Depends on the nature of the split, because if it isn't amicable, the parent might not want you to be in contact with their DC.