How to tell step kids we are seperating

[Silentlysinking101]

Dp and I agreed to call it quits a few weeks ago. Life has got in the way, we have both long since stopped making an effort and there is now nothing left.

We agreed to play our parts til Xmas day was out the way. We are going to tell them tomorrow/Friday and I am just wondering if anyone has any advice.

The kids are 15 & 13 and our dd is 5 - I am. Thinking honesty, no blame and just explain the situation. Any other options?

Dp wants me to stay in their lives and maintain some contact which I am with. Things are mostly amicable but I am worried about how they will take it. I have been in their lives for nearly 8 years

I think it’s nice for you to want to keep in contact, but be emotionally prepared for your stepkids to not want to spend time with you after the seperation. Especially if / when your DP finds a new partner.

The impact to both kids will be slightly different. I think you should let your DP tell their kids about the seperation 1-2-1 initially without you there as it will impact them In a different way to your DD. Both you and your DP should tell your DD together to reassure her that living apart won’t mean she loses either of you.

Have you & your DP has any thoughts about where you will each live, what contact you will each have with your DD and how that will work with your DP's contact arrangements with his DC?

I agree with pp I think you should tell the stepkids seperately to the 5 year old.
It will effect the 5 year old more.

Also if you had a clear understanding of how contact would work regarding the 5 year old that would help them understand that they will still get to see both parents, perhaps you could work that out first.