Should I leave ?

[Curlyheadedcutie]

Good afternoon!
I have been with my partner about 2 and bit years, I met his kids after about 6 months of being together.
My partner has them 2 days every other week, due to the hours my partner works. To begin with I used to make other plans on the days he had his kids so they could spend time with their dad, but then after a few nights of being with them they started asking for me and calling me when I weren't there, so we started going out on little days out when he had them, but I still left them to spend time with their dad.
My partner proposed to me and then his ex found out and brought up the idea of a vasectomy, and said if he got me pregnant he wouldn't be able to see his kids.
A few months ago I had a miscarriage and then despite not knowing what she said i then found out I' pregnant.
We were over the moon.
We kept it a secret and told his kids after 12 week scan an they were so excited, they said they were so happy and thanks me aha and were playing with my belly all night.
Now after going back to their mums they won't speak to me, his older girl who's about 8 just closes doors in my face when I speak to her. Things I'd bought for the baby they have ruined and they have cut up my scan pics, my boyfriend has told them off but I just feel stuck in the middle.
His ex is now threatening me and the baby, she's getting people to message me calling me all sorts and she calls him again calling me all sorts and asking for stupid favours like putting air in her tyres at 10pm, she calls and texts him none stop through out the day.
He's doing nothing about, he doesn't want to cause drama with her.
Should I just break up with him?
It's really upsetting me and he won't even stand up for me.

Why on earth would he be threatening to kick you out and why could you afford to leave? He lives in your 4 bedroom house?

Her behaviour is unacceptable, consider reporting her to the police.
Make sure you and your OH have clear rules about what is acceptable for the children and how he communicates with his ex.
She can't stop him seeing the kids because he has another baby but you may have to go to court to get visitation sorted.

Hope your doing ok x

When he dropped the kids off, she came over to the car smiling an tried to touch my belly an asked if we could be friends an forget about all this.
I told her I would be civil, but there is no reason for us to be friends. I then explained to her how I felt an what the kids are doing and that it's upsetting my OH. She just stood and smiled at me an walked off. I told him he either sets boundaries with her or I'm walking. He went and spoke to her for about 10 mins an she was screaming at him an I've not heard anything from her since. Which is good !!

Hmm

I’d work on an exit strategy if i were you. I’m sure you’re lovely, but cynical me is wondering if he may have encouraged his dc to be calling you and wanting to spend time with you from early on because he cba doing much actual parenting. And as for the endless drama between him and his ex, and him messaging other women when you were poorly in hospital - he sounds like a fucking loser tbh, and i’d run a mile from it all. He’s bad news.

@MadameButterface
I totally agree with you, I've just been trying to make it work just for the babies sake. He's a low life and he's only ever cared about himself.
He barely has his kids and when he does he doesn't do anything with them and he complains that they stress him out, he has then two days every other week and still tried to palm them off with me

You really need to make a plan to leave and ASAP OP. What do you need to get in place to make it happen? You can’t trust him, he doesn’t value you, you and your baby deserve better.

Welllllll you need a strategy then. Start saving up and looking at your options for moving out. Do not be tempted to confide in the ex or create any sort of alliance with her, those two are still in their own drama. None of these people are a friend to you. You have to look after yourself and your baby, it’s up to you now. Many women on here will have had to do the same, there’s help and advice and support here for you, you absolutely can do it. Take it one step at a time and keep your own counsel.

@Youbrokemttwatometer
What are you going on about?
If you've got nothing nice to say then please don't comment at all! Your clearly just here for the drama.

Curly the poster is correct.
In November you posted that the house is yours and that he moved in with you so how can he kick you out of your own home?

Because he's on the mortgage with me, plus I can't tell him to leave when his kids are here

You put this man on the mortgage after a year together!!!

Wow you are in your 20s and own a 4 bedroom house and you care for your siblings at the weekend...I am shocked that anybody who in their 20s can achieve all that would then be foolish enough to put a man they have known for a year on the mortgage.

No, I'm here to point out that you are fabricating your story to suit, and wasting people's time.

Why have you lied about how long you've been with him?

How have you got on OP?

I think I recall this 4 bedroom house story...and something didn't sound right.

Your useless man got you pregnant so he has a hold on you and can keep you around to parent his children when they're with you.

That's why he's threatening to kick you out - he thinks "She's pregnant now, she won't leave".

I wouldnt advise you and your baby being around him or his family. It's not safe. Furthermore he will go back to jumping when his ex clicks her fingers, soon enough.

Phone Women's Aid for advice. Find out what help your be entitled too if you left. There are ways and means.

Sorry you're going thru this. But if you stay with this man you're in for a rough life. The signs are there.

No 1 man and relationship are worth ruining your 1 life for anyway, relationships should be happy and peaceful not full of this bullshit.

I read the 4 bedroomed house post, it was quite recent. Are you the same poster OP...?

Something isn't adding up here. You're not being wholly honest and your timelines are changing.

It doesn't make sense that you'd put your foot down about him putting air in her tyres at 10pm...but be naive (to put it mildly) enough to put him on your mortgage within a couple of months and suddenly he threatens to kick you out....of a home that was entirely yours not long ago.

This man was with his parents up until he met you.

You're a full time administrator with a 4 bedroom house.

When details change..
It can be for anonymity.....it can also be to hide the fact that the OP was the OW... hence all the hatred from the Ex.

This Ex cheated...is now living with the OM....Yet she calls your partner to put air in her tyres!! What is her BF doing at these times? It's coming across like he (your DP) is a cuckold tbh.

What man with any gumption would actually do this. He runs along to her who allegedly cheated ... but threatened to kick you out because you were having a bath and he thinks you're ignoring his kids.

He's a low life and he's only ever cared about himself.
He barely has his kids and when he does he doesn't do anything with them and he complains that they stress him out, he has then two days every other week and still tried to palm them off with me
^^..^
Maybe this is why she cheated on him....because he was a useless dad and she was left doing everything.

Whatever the truth..wake up and smell the coffee. You can do better than him and all his baggage.

In the dating arena you had a much higher market value than him.