I know I ABU

[MrsDylanBlue]

1st wedding anniversary and we had DSD who is 13. Other DSD didn’t come as the had a sleepover - I always knew it was our weekend which is fine.

DSD and I have a good relationship and U have been in her life for a long time.

This weekend though. Kept leaving tampon and sanitary towel wrappers on the bathroom floor. Left blood all over the loo and didn’t wrap up her pads so just left them open in the bin. DH wanting to get romantic etc and it’s just off putting.

She is in the room right next to us anyway so silent romance if at all (which is just the way it is).

Went for a nice lunch today and tried my hardest to make DSD feel included and she was so moody. Refused to thank the waiting staff (I was so fucking annoyed that DH said nothing so I prompted her) was moody and ungrateful after choosing THE most expensive thing on the menu and refused to wear a coat (we have bought her a really nice one but she didn’t bring it because it needed washing - I always wash their coats so I cannot understand why she didn’t bring it) and shivered but wore a pair of massive ski gloves, a nice dress and a pair of stinking trainers which are falling to bits.

Then DH said she could eat her food with her fingers (WTAF?) I suggested she tried the knife and fork first - which she did.

Argh.

Thanks I just needed a rant.

Teenagers and toddlers don’t wear coats. It doesn’t matter what the coat is. Pick your battles.

I get that as I have 3 grown up kids.

But don’t then moan that you are fucking cold afterI offered her a jacket 😭😭

She was on her period which explains the bad mood. Are you such past menopause that you’ve forgotten how that’s like? Come on. You know you’re being unreasonable. If this were my dsd I would have cancelled the dinner and arranged movies, a hot water bottle, chocolates etc!!

I am not past menopause..

She was fine - women can function on their period.

She went to a film on her own with her dad yday. He lives away all weekend has now left.

Teenagers are just grumpy a lot. Ds is grumpy at the moment because we went to the cinema but he didn’t enjoy the film (the one he chose and I said I didn’t think he’d really enjoy it but he still wanted to go).

Lives away all week sorry and has now gone.

I know it just pissed me off that she was being outright rude and ungrateful and he didn’t pick her up on it.

Did you ask her if she was well? My mum never did. Which meant she never knew how crippling my periods ever were — I used to flood the toilet seat every night, flood the bedsheets etc not realising because I was out of it. And she’d call me disgusting rather than take me to a doctor. Often i’d be in agony scrubbing the toilet in the middle of the night. I was in my thirties before I was diagnosed with severe pcos because of her shit. You need to think that periods aren’t the same for all women, and certainly not for a teenaged girl who may not have had them long. Just because you can cope doesn’t mean she can.

Cherries101 I am not your mother.

She is always offered pain relief and she has a drawer full of pads, tampons and night pads.

We look after her when she has her period👍🏻.

’She was fine - women can function on their period.’
Not all of them. And not always teenagers whose moods turn without reason anyway.

She doesn’t ever take any pain relief either which says to me she is fine.

She also needs to learn to leave the bathroom as she found it.

I feel your pain. My DSD (12) is exactly the same. Leaves used sanitary pads all over the bathroom.

We have taken her abroad twice this year and both times she has spent the majority of the time in the hotel room being "moody" rather than wanting to do anything with us as a family, really winds me up that we spend a lot of money to take her abroad and she doesn't appreciate it at all, wind we up even more than DP never says a word about it

She is putting the tampons and towels in the bin and leaving the wrappers on the floor She's not leaving the bloody tampons all over the floor. I would cut her some slack. She's 13. She won't be used to dealing with periods and her periods might well be crippling at that age.

And as for you and your DH well that's just life with teens. Get your sexy on some other time or be super quiet.

She doesn’t have “crippling” periods - as O said we have a good relationship.

It’s not ok to leave wrappers all over the floor and expect someone else to clean up after you. I (DH certainly did not) accept that behaviour from my children.

Yes I accept that about sex. It’s was our first anniversary and I will see him twice this month.

I did not sorry

She sounds like a pain, but did she actually want to come and stay? I hate being away when I'm on my period.

You don't know crippling or not, if she is struggling with her periods.

You basically didn't want her there because it was your anniversary weekend and that shows.

And she will have picked up on that, which is likely why she was sulky.

Her sister chose not to come so it’s clear they are not forced to come.

Yesterday she spent the afternoon with her dad at the cinema and we baked a cake together.

Today she was made more than welcome at lunch.

Your title says you know you are being unreasonable yet youv argued with anyone that says you are being unreasonable - are you sure it's not you being moody and projecting that onto your DSD??

I didn't say they were forced to come. You didn't want her there, that much is clear from your attitude to her.

And I doubt she feels she was welcome at lunch.

I didn't say they were forced to come. You didn't want her there, that much is clear from your attitude to her.

And I doubt she feels she was welcome at lunch.

No idea why that posted twice.

She isn’t struggling with her periods - we communicate with her and she is fine.

She needs to learn to think about the fact that other people need to use the bathroom after her. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable expectation and if others do then I wonder what sort of entitled generation we are raising here.

I went out of my way to make her feel welcome I let her use my make up and perfume and we walked to the restaurant together with her dad behind us.

Her attitude in the restaurant pissed me off.

It is not ok to be rude and sulky to waiting staff, period or no period,