trying to 'suck it up' and put on a brave face

[Fairystepsthought]

I'm really trying to ignore the fact that I'm not invited to my DSD's 18th party tonight - the party that I have organised as per her wishes - I've put the banners up and decorated her room for her this morning but I'm struggling. Been in her life for 9 years. Does it ever get better or is this the reality check for the way things will go?

That sucks. Are you sure it’s not just assumed you’ll be there, or were you actively told you weren’t to attend?

is your partner going?

yes OH going to pick up pressies and pay bill and now Ex wife has muscled in and is going

If she's asked you to organise it maybe she's just assumed you will be there and didn't think to specifically ask you/give you an invite? Tbh I'd probably just turn up along with your DH!

Go anyway? If anyone says something say of course I am here, she is my step daughter and I organised it!

Also if you are not going then your DH shouldn't either.

Are you sure you're not invited; has she specifically said that?

Why would you not go ?

Why aren't you going @Fairystepsthought ?

If you were asked to arrange it all, but you have been specifically told not to attend, then I'd never arrange anything for her again.

Your dh is an arse if he left you behind imo.

Who has said you can't go?

Ah now mums decided to go your out

Your DH should be standing up for you here and pointing out that it was rude of her to expect you to organise it but not invite you.

Just go. Sorry you organised it etc so just go unless dsd specifically asked you not to in which case I wouldn't have organised it.
At 18 she should know better and be more respectful

I’m sorry, that’s really shit of her to ask you to arrange a party then not invite you to it.

Did she say why you’re not invited?

I would go. Sorry if this is too late, but you should be there.

Also if you are not going then your DH shouldn't either

Ridiculous.
It's his daughter. Not going would be putting a woman above his child.

This isnt nice to not invite you OP. Especially after you've helped her decorate.

You say her room. Do you mean the room as in a hall?

I don't understand the dynamics. Does she live with you? Does it mean you had to be excluded from your house? How's your relationship otherwise? Did you decorate together or did you take it upon yourself to do and when did she say you couldn't go?

Ex wife has muscled in? You mean her mother??!!

How are you this morning?

It sounds like maybe it was a no parents allowed party if DH was just allowed to call in to pick stuff up?

It sounds like it’s a party for her friends rather than family and that her father isn’t really going as anything other than a chequebook and courier ( as father’s often are at this point). A bit odd her mother turning up to a youngsters party unless it was a formal affair.
We do formal 21st rather than 18th birthday events. We didn’t get ‘invited’ to any of our children’s 18th birthday parties except to buy large amounts of cocktails before being pointed quite quickly in the direction of the door. We had a separate family meal in a restaurant, with family friends which was much nicer than loud bar music.

I’m sure no snub is intended - she probably just doesn’t want oldies treading on her grapes.