SD adoption

5 replies

Mummabear1992 · 05/09/2018 15:28

Hi all

Just looking for a bit of advice my DSD lives full time with my partner and I, her BM sadly died when she was 2 she’s now 7. Following her mother’s death her BM’s parents tried to get full custody of DSD, taking my DP to court and it finally ended via a mediator talking some sense into them and we now have an informal agreement that they have DSD twice a week over night and one weekend a month. Whilst we are happy with this arrangement and have no desire to change it as we now have a bio son we don’t want to run the risk that should anything happen to DP they would try to take her from me.

Simply to protect our family unit and because we are unmarried the only way to ensure this is to go down to adoption route.

So my question is - how long does this process take? And any tips on how to handle gparents? Added footnote is grandmother is very anxious and can be quite controlling so we fear drama!

Thanks x

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WhiteCat1704 · 05/09/2018 16:00

I can only guess that you need to be married first...

unicorncow · 05/09/2018 16:03

@WhiteCat1704 you definitely don't have to be married!!

WhiteCat1704 · 05/09/2018 16:07

Yep, I was wrong..you don't..google in 5seconds points to

www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild

Rebecca36 · 05/09/2018 16:08

I'm sure you could adopt her but there is also legal guardianship which your partner could set in place just in case anything happens to him. That is worth looking into.

I've no idea whether or not parent and partner have to be married btw and you do not say if you are married. I suppose that would at least help, showing commitment, but you have had the girl for five years which would count for something. Her wishes would be taken into account too, not unreasonable especially as she gets older.

I'm glad her maternal grandparents have regular contact, that is very important.

Well done you.

palindromeam · 05/09/2018 16:11

I'm pretty sure you don't need to be married.

I really feel your difficulty with this. The poor DG- nobody should have to die after their children. But you've got to do what's in best interests of dsd. With, IMO, this is.

I don't know the process now but I was adopted by my dad after my biological father died ( I can't call him my dsd because he's my dad) when I was 7. I don't remember it being difficult though my parents may say different. I just had to tell a man in a court that I wanted this to happen.

Flip