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Excessive Birthday Parties

51 replies

hamabr86 · 29/06/2018 14:27

Hi, I'm a newbie so please be gentle with me! I have two lovely stepdaughters aged 5 and 3.

My dilemma at the moment is this - the older of the two seemingly has a birthday party to attend every weekend we have her at the moment. We currently have them on Wednesday evenings and every other weekend and as such, with the parties being in the middle of the day, it is massively breaking into our time with her and we can't plan days out. Often the youngest isn't invited so partner and I split up to care for them separately.

I love having little one and it has helped us to bond, but they are becoming so frequent I'm worried she too isn't getting enough time with her dad. I've noticed recently shes switched her 'allegiance' from him to me and I don't know if this is as a result of that.

I mentioned previously to my partner that maybe we should start declining some invitations after we had driven down south to see his family for the weekend and left extremely early Sunday morning, and with much stress, to get the eldest to yet another party.

He thinks this would be mean as she enjoys them and wouldn't entertain me. Am I being unreasonable? I personally grew up not celebrating birthdays or Christmas so I can't see the harm in missing those of kids shes not specifically friends with. She is a very confident little girl and I can't imagine she would suffer socially. Do you think it would be cruel to stop her going to some?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Bananasinpyjamas11 · 01/07/2018 20:33

I think the thing most posters who are not SMs miss is that looking after children by their Dad and SM works best when they are a team. Not ‘oh Dad is so wonderful’ for ignoring his other child, his partner and other important family get togethers to rigidly never make any sensible decisions of his own. Just react to what is in front of his nose!

It’s all a juggle. It should be a juggle! Not one child never missing out on anything ever no matter what other needs are there.

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