Phone calls AIBU?

[jingleberries]

It's just happened again and I'm a tad pissed off. We have DSS EOW and every Wednesday. Also supposed to get a phone call on the NC weekends at 1800 on a Sunday but that rarely happens. When we do get a phone call EVERYTHING gets dropped as DH runs off to chat. Tonight we were half way through a roast dinner at 1900. AIBU to expect him to say 'sorry, eating at moment, I will call u back in 10??' DH thinks I am BU as he doesn't get much time with his ds but I feel if I have cooked a meal and we are all sitting down to eat or we are in a restaurant or something it wouldn't hurt that much to say, I will call you back. Now looking at stodgy remains of dinner gone cold and feeling very grumpy

I understand how you feel but YABU to make your DH feel bad about it - it's his meal that's gone horrible not yours. You will find that as time goes by things like this will get easier - I speak from experience

It does sound a bit annoying but it’s two calls a month and if he usually calls at the agreed time you can plan around it so it’s not like he’s ruining your evening meal every day of the week. If he didn’t call at 6 you knew it would likely happen later.

Is it that big of a deal? He misses his child and wants a chance to catch up on his week.

My DSC aren’t allowed to call very often and if DH said he’d call back in 10 I guarantee ex would make a point of not answering.

It won’t be like this forever. Don’t make him feel bad for being a good dad and trying to stay connected and involved with his little one.

If I didnt live with my son I would also talk to him over eating a meal yabu, and unfair on him give him a break.

YANBU to be annoyed, but YABU to expect DH to call them back - if he's rushing off, he clearly wants to talk and values that time enormously. Like a PP says, it's twice a month. Be glad your DH is interested enough in his child to talk to them and suck it up.

Sorry but I think YABU.

I'm a step parent and if DH had done this, I would be fine with it. It's just a meal and not worth worrying about. I'm glad your DH is prioritising his child, that's a good sign he knows what really matters

If this is twice a month, then YABU.

You are being unreasonable.

Do you not have young children? How would you feel if you only saw them 1 day a week and EOW? Do you really think you would tell them you wanted to eat dinner but would call them back when you only talk to them on the phone 2x per month on top of that small amount of time?

Perhaps you should move roast night to SAturdays if this is such a hardship for you.

Sorry I’m if the yabu brigade. Its 2 phone calls a month, it’s all about what’s best for the dc at the end of the day.

That's his son, of course a brief snatched phone is precious. You're being shortsighted here, putting a minor inconvenience for you way ahead of their relationship. His son needs the contact when he can get it.

Yabu . I am glad he prioritises his child over a chicken dinner doesn’t say much for him if he didn’t.

Eat earlier and then the problem would be solved

Get over yourself. He wants to speak to his son who he speaks on the phone to twice a month!

It is irritating but YABU. I suspect you know this and are just sounding off.
As PP says, it will get easier. It's ok to be annoyed, just hold back and don't over react

You begrudge your husband talking to his child twice a month for ten minutes each call? I'd tell you where you could stick your roast if I were him.

Nothing would stop me from talking to my child if they lived elsewhere. You don’t tell a child “I’m eating dinner so I’ll call you back later”!

I probably am BU but it's our one night to sit down and do dinner. Busy schedules preclude other nights and I have tried shifting the times around ( as in dinner at seven or later as he is supposed to call at six) but no matter when I re arrange to we always seem to get the call then ( am becoming slightly suspicious that the phone has a sensor in it and goes off at the worst times ever) And lunar it's not 10 min chat. Tonight was 45 min. Maybe the better plan is just ditch trying to spend quality time together

Op I would also be irritated- you’re not for one suggesting he doesn’t speak to his child. What on earth is wrong with saying “call you back in 10”?

Thanks aroundtheworld. I was brought up to believe meal times were important to families. TV off, phones ignored ( in those days it was the landline!) and you talked to each other. As the rest of our lives are so busy I don't think it's wrong to have 30 min on a Sunday evening where we sit together without interruption is too much to ask for.

Sorry - the only time in the week to sit down together!!

Now you are sounding melodramatic and petulant OP!

So you have to ditch quality time together because your partner speaks to his son on the phone twice a month? A bit dramatic don't you think? Why is nothing else in your busy schedule being blamed for your lack of time together, or considered for reshuffling? Seems strange that a phone call once a fortnight is being held responsible.

Look at your week and find other special times. No one is that busy. What about all day Sunday ? Could ye not go out to lunch together or just coffee and sit and chat.

If the call is scheduled for 6 but is often later then eat at 5. He wouldn't be much of a father if his dinner was more important than his child.

Sorry but its twice a month.

How precious are you that a twice a month phonecall with his child is causing you this much angst.
As another poster suggested eat at 5pm then no interuptions.
You have the whole Sunday to eat a meal together. I fet the impression that had the call been scheduled for 10am you would complain it was interupting a lie in or breakfast.

As the phone calls are for only two days a month, I would try and find another time on a Sunday that you and your oh can spend quality time together. Family time is what makes meals together important, not the actual meal itself. If you get annoyed everytime your oh goes to answer the phone from his child, you will cause future issues between you, and between his child and you.
Another possible option is have the call on speaker phone on the table so its like his child is there with you, and you can all chat together, whilst you both still eat.
I hope you find a solution that works for all of you.