Who is right, who is wrong - refusing to allow flu jab?

[ItsMeUsername]

DP and his ex share a DS together. He was offered the flu jab at school, and his mother refused it without discussing it had even been offered with DP. It only came to light when DS stated openly that he was told the flu jab is 'haram' (forbidden in Islam) by his mother after my own DS mentioned having his done. After some digging I found it contained some pork products, this seems to be the reason why.

DP wants DSS to have it. His ex has refused, or rather says she will "think about it", which means "no". She has denied the issue is the pork, but clearly it is. She is a non-practicing Muslim as she was never married to DP, drinks alcohol so on, so forth. The irony of it all is that she sent DSS with a Christmas present and asked him to wrap it at ours. She also wants him returned early at the weekend, so that he can perform in a Nativity play.

What happens in situations like this, do you just let it drop?

I don't think celebrating secular Christmas or taking part in the school Nativity would be a problem. Don't Muslims see Jesus as am important figure? Just not the son of God?

I think her choices for herself (marriage, alcohol) are separate from the flu jab for her son. It does contain pork. Muslims don't vaccinate for flu because of that.

Can you, DH and maybe? mum all get the flu jab so he has herd immunity at home. Most of the school will have consented. Mum may accept it for herself if she non-practising?

If it is haram I feel sympathy. It’s one thing to drink yourself, another to give your kids alcohol/pork etc.

Surely there’s a halal flu vaccine? Hopefully Muslim posters can help.

There are other options, in DS1s School there was a pork free alternative offered so it might be worth looking into that.

@stargirl a lot of Muslims see celebrating Christmas as wrong despite his status in Islam.

OP a lot of Muslims drink, listen to music, have extramarital sex etc but still don't consume pork products. I was banned from consuming pork as a child for example but was allowed everything else that was haram. She's just being a hypocrite. Unfortunately this kind of behaviour is very common amongst not particular devout Muslims.

I'll be honest, I don't think the flu jab is a thing worth making a battle out of.

My ds3 had it. Didn't know it contained pork..
We are vegetarian.

Tinsel AFAIK it’s the nasal spray not the jab which contains pork if that helps?

If it is for an under 18 it will be the nasal spray not the jab.

He had the spray.
The nurse persuaded me he should have it being recently diagnosed asthmatic - no mention of anything, feel a bit miffed.

Woops

I'm (practising) Muslim and didn't know it contained pork!
My 3dc have had it too

Infact even if I did know It wouldn't have changed my mind as it's a medicine to prevent something and my eldest child is on immunosuppressents so very important for us all to be done
Hubby didn't have it done as he doesn't like needles lol

Interested if anyone has a link to which ones contain pork?

They should have told you @Tinselistacky, there is definitely a pork free alternative available.

@Salvadore www.nhs.uk/Conditions/vaccinations/Pages/child-flu-vaccine-questions-and-answers.aspx

What are your reasons for wanting him to have it & what are her reasons for not?

TBH i dont see the big deal with the flu jab compared to the mmr vaccinations.

Resting - Yes she is definitely a hypocrite, and I've seen it all before with friends who uphold the anti-pork stance, but indulgence of all other things that are "not allowed". DSS isn't technically being raised as a Muslim (no one on his mother's side attends a mosque for example). But he often expresses ideas and thoughts about things being "bad" etc. that clearly come from her. Although when confronted, as she is now, she will deny it.

Rat - I agree, there shouldn't be a battle over it. The main reason for all the kids having it, is that we have a child with a chronic health issue who isn't able to have the vaccine. But mainly, DP wants him to have it and is fed up of being fobbed off and ignored when it comes to important matters, schooling, health etc. She doesn't seem to mind when we have him for all the school holidays however, she won't send a single text to ask how he is, even after weeks of not seeing him. The contradicting behaviours are very difficult to deal with.

If she denies it, take her at her word and book him in for one at the GP.

I'd let it go. The vaccine isn't necessary.