Who actually enjoys being a stepparent?

[Hoplittlerabbit]

I want to hear some positive stories. People obviously post on this board when there is an issue and they need advice but it can be very ‘doom and gloom’ and can often focus on the negatives.

So let’s share some lovely positive stories as a reminder to those who are struggling with their own situations. It isn’t always bad. It is challenging and at times appears unrewarding but it can also be wonderfully fulfilling being a stepparent.

I personally struggled in the early days with many things and most of all my DPs children’s behaviour. However in recent months it all seems to have settled down and we are very happy - all of us!

Share your lovely experiences of stepparenting

That's lovely whitley and good luck with your pregnancy.

I'm confused as to why a two hour distance means you see her so little? Lots of people live that far apart and still maintain more regular contact. Whatever works for all of you, but it seems a shame not to see her more often, especially with your new baby arriving soon.

I have always got on well with DSD (20) but we've had a lot of ups and downs with her mum over many years and it's caused a lot of upset. I've always focussed on doing what's best for DSD and remaining neutral which is much easier said than done. She recently told me I have been a wonderful parent to her, and it was just the best thing to hear. She's grown into an independent, strong minded and intelligent young woman and to hear that acknowledgement from her made me feel that I had done something right. I will cherish that always.

This is a lovely thread! There are so many negative stories about stepparents, this is so refreshing!
I love my DSD, I've been here since she was 4. Her mum left her with my now DH when she was 2, so we have 50/50. We have our own DS and they're best friends! she's a cracking wee lass and I couldnt be prouder of her! Over the years, we've had our issues, but consistency, discipline and love have given her the stability she lacked with her mum.
There are times she annoys me just like our DS does, but thats ok, I just suggest she has some daddy/daughter time, which she loves! Gives us both space!
Recently, DH picked her up from school and she came out with her friend, chatting about the fun I'd had baking with her the previous day. Her friend asked 'Is Evil your mummy'? No, says DSD, shes like my mummy, but better.
Had a tear in my eye at that! I never set out to be her parent, just a friend and confidante , but I didn't realise thats how she saw me!

Here's hoping our relationship grows as she does!

Well done to all the stepparents out there, its a tough job!

I'm very lucky in that my two DSC (currently 12 & 9) dote on their little (half) sisters. My eldest has significant learning disabilities and they are so good with her. They could hate me and I'd still love them for their behaviour.

I have 2 DSC and I love them very much.

The start was difficult though.They initially moved into my house when DP moved in. I found that difficult as my home was invaded by 2 noisy children and DP when I was used to it being calm and just me and the dog! Plus the house was too small so we were always on top of each other. I'd spent lots of time with my DSC before they moved in, but living with them was so different from spending the day with them then going back to my house.

The eldest found the change difficult too and was clingy with DP. Plus at this stage, I liked my DSC but I didn't love them.

DP was great, hes a hands on Dad and didn't leave me to feed/clean up after them as I've seen with other step parents. And he didn't Disney Dad. If they were naughty, they were told off and if they'd been difficult that day, DP would admit how difficult he'd found them (once they were in bed) which made me feel like it wasn't just me who'd felt like that. Plus there were various issues with DPs Ex which I had to work really hard on not letting that colour my view of the DCs.

Things slowly got easier, my DSC started to realise that there were boundaries in place. We got the eldest sleeping past 5am and I grew to love them more. Plus we moved into a bigger house that's 'ours' not just mine!

I'm very lucky to have 2 beautiful DSC in my life. I'm hoping they feel the same. They've decided I'm their bonus Mum, which is lovely.
DP jokes that I'm the favorite, which always prompts the eldest to come and cuddle me.
I'm part of their family and they are part of mine. My parents love them and treat them the same as there biological GC.

I get on with their Mum and we even all take the DCs out together.

I'm currently really excited about Christmas and seeing my DSCs faces when they open the presents we have got them.

Its been difficult, but its all worth it.

I met my step son when he was 6 months, officially started a relationship with his father when he was 1 year and he's now coming up to 6. I love him tons! The only stressful part was the weekly barrage of abuse from his mother and her boyfriend. Once I learnt to not ruminate on their awful weekly behavior, I was able to just focus on being the best step mum I can be. Now I can't imagine my life without him, we have him every weekend and I feel he's basically my son! I'm going to start trying for my own in the next few weeks, I'm so excited. It will bring us closer together as a family unit. (Don't underestimate being a step parent, it IS very demanding usually because of the 'other parent always making it difficult, so do give yourself a pat on the back for keeping strong). But I think it really shows how big someone's heart is when they can take in another child as their own :)