Aggressive Step Son

[grumpymummy25]

Long story short... I’ve been with my Partner for over a year and we are now living together. We have my children living with us (5 yo girl, 6 yo boy and 8yo boy). My partners son (8yo) comes and stays every other weekend. When he comes he is so spiteful and just awful. He wants it all his own way and will be my children’s ‘friends’ when they give him things he wants. Otherwise he is aggressive... for instance we have a gaming room with an Xbox, he was in there and my 6 year old autistic son went in to watch. He didn’t like this (even though it’s ok for him to do) so strangled my son. He came through crying, gasping for breath and said what he’s done. Of course he lied and said he hadn’t done anything, he lies all the time about everything. He will nip, scratch... my children for no reason. How do I go about this? He’s not my child and I’m starting to resent him as he’s so vicious and it’s made worse by the fact that he lies about anything he’s done. His dad gets angry but mostly doesn’t punish accordingly. Advice please.

Wasn't that the living conditions at his Dad's?

I don't know why the mum is "vile" but the Dad is okay with you because you decided to adopt the Dad OP. They sound much of a muchness.

This kid is in a right state, his dad spends all his time in another house, with other children, where as he just visits! Yes I feel sorry for your SS, but he seriously needs help managing his emotions in this situation. His DF needs to get help in understanding why his son is behaving this way, accept responsibility for it, and deal with it sensitively.
TBH, I agree moving into together after just one year, was not a good idea, But it's done now so you and and your DP, are either going to have to sort it all out ASAP, or separate! I wish you good luck!

Honestly....get a better boyfriend. It's to much hassle eith this one. Your children font need aggression like that.

It doesn't sound like he has had the best upbringing so far..... parents taking drugs and probably consuming excess alcohol cannot have been a great environment for the boy...but your priority is protecting your DC.

Violence and strangling?

That’s serious.

I’d refuse to have him in the house and it’s a deal breaker- you are subjecting your children to abuse - you have to break up.

Honestly....get a better boyfriend. It's too much hassle with this one. Your children don't need aggression like that.

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Correcting typos

Run like the wind and let SS know what a terrible situation this poor boy is in.

I have three children of my own who are being bullied and physically assaulted in their own home

This stood out a mile to me, too.

Not only are they on the receiving end of this but the parent of the child hurting them does nothing about it and their mother is supporting him (in practical ways) which could easily send them the message that you think it’s ok.

I’d ask him to move out, no matter how stuck he is financially.

Agree with those who say stangulation is incredibly serious and a sign of how dangerous this boy is. I do feel for him as he’s clearly had a lot of challenges in his young life but if they were my children they would not be alone with him again and I can’t see him getting the support he needs from his father quickly enough for this to work.

Your children deserve much better, OP.

I know he’s a child but this is why strangulation is such a red flag: www.thehotline.org/2016/03/15/the-dangers-of-strangulation/