Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Flip

Original poster

Christmas: when to open presents

11 replies

sothisisnew · 14/11/2017 08:24

Another Christmas plans one, sorry!

If two exes do alternate Christmases with the DCs, is it a no-no for the parent who hasn't got Christmas Day to open presents with them before Christmas Day?..

My DP and his ex are in the process of going to court over contact (she says she should get every Christmas as it 'means more' to her and her family (mental)), but despite this I'm not sure if it's acceptable behaviour from my DP to have fake Christmas on Christmas Eve. If he doesn't do it then I'm not sure when he will get to- court should tell us soon that it's either 2 days later or a week and a half.

The children are 3 and 4. Am I over-thinking?.. How does everyone else do the two families two Christmases thing? Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Maybe83 · 14/11/2017 08:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenguinDi · 14/11/2017 08:47

We do a present opening on the closest day to Christmas, but not Santa etc, this year we will be doing presents on Christmas Eve as that is our weekend with DSD.

The1975 · 14/11/2017 08:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NorthernSpirit · 14/11/2017 09:12

If you are going to court for contact it’s very likely you’ll get alternative Christmas days (that’s the norm and it doesn’t matter if Christmas means ‘more’ to the mum).

We have’t got the SC this year for Christmas Day (we have them the weekend before Christmas and then pick them up on the 29th for NYE.

So we’ll have an early Christmas Day on Sat 16th. Don’t over think it. You can do whatever you want in your contact time.

Original poster

sothisisnew · 14/11/2017 09:59

Thanks everyone. I think that is a fair distinction, if we say these presents are from daddy and the presents on Christmas Day are from Father Christmas then it doesn't really matter which comes first. Then hopefully next year, their mummy will do the same thing.

OP posts:

SarahH12 · 15/11/2017 20:28

It sounds like you've got a good plan. We see DSD Christmas eve until about 4 pm and then boxing day from 9 am and she's with her mum in between. It works for us as her mum does a big family thing with DSD's grandparents, cousins etc. However I can totally understand why your DP would push for Christmas day and I quite agree that it meaning more to her in your particular situation is ludicrous.

With our setup, Santa delivers presents on Christmas day either to her house or her grandmas depending on where she's staying and then she has presents off us on boxing day. If we only saw her Christmas eve we'd just give her presents to her then.

Purpleforest · 18/11/2017 14:15

DSC's mum always does a fake Christmas on whatever day happens to suit her - sometimes before, sometimes after. The DSC have never complained either way. More presents and two lots of turkey seem to suit them fine I wouldn't over think it all.

TeenTimesTwo · 18/11/2017 19:17

If Santa only brings the stockings and everything else is from proper people then your problem more or less disappears. It's a lot simpler that way too.

Chasingsquirrels · 18/11/2017 19:24

I did our Christmas on Christmas Eve one year, thinking back the dc's were probably 8 & nearly 4.
I did actually have them on Christmas Day, but then they were going to their dad's on Boxing Day morning and I wanted them to have more than a few hours before they went and got another load of presents.
It worked really well, no one seemed to care that it wasn't actually Christmas Day - apart from my dad who said he wasn't doing presents on Christmas Eve (I think my mum was v cross with him about that).

Runlovingmummy81 · 25/11/2017 20:52

We split Xmas. So one parent had Xmas eve and up to 1pm Xmas day, the other gets from 1pm Xmas day and boxing day. Seems to work at the minute but not sure as the kids get older. They are 5 and 6.

mrsaxlerose · 06/12/2017 16:58

I was lucky as my DS spent Christmas eve and Christmas morning with me and opened presents and then we had lunch. I would then call his dad who would could and pick him up for presents and tea at his grandma house. We got around the presents and Santa issue because his initial were the same as his dad and three aunts (who all lived in the house) so we said that Santa had got confused with all the NW,s in the house and mixed up the presents leaving some of his with them. As he got a little older we would leave the girls present at ours and put them under our tree so some of their presents were left with him . Complicated but it worked keep the Santa magic alive. if your creative you can get around it.

Flip