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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Contact between step-siblings

71 replies

Emmyloo22 · 01/08/2017 09:50

DP has a son (my SS, 12) and we have a DS (2) and DD (6m) together. I avoid contact with SS as I'm worried about what he might do to me and my DC. I've been with DP for 6 years and although the SS hasn't actually done anything major, he doesn't always follow instructions, he gives me funny looks and he "accidentally" bumped into me the last time I saw him. I reckon the XP is filling his mind with venom.

DP has SS at his parents house every other weekend (we live 80 miles away) as due to complicated financial stuff, I own the house that I live in with DP and I won't allow the SS to visit. SS has seen DS about four times in the past year and my DD once in six months. My DP keeps on trying to get me and my DC to see SS more but I don't see why we should. AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsRyanGosling15 · 01/08/2017 11:07

You sound very unwell or just nasty.

sparklybuttired · 01/08/2017 11:08

I'm sorry but without anything happening I am appalled at your attitude.

How would you feel if your husband left you at only saw your children four times a year and not in his home.

Step son probably dosent like toy but he is a child you are an adult and therefore need to put some work into developing a relationship.

It actually upsets me that people in this world exist with such an ignorant and hurtful world where they would treat a child yes a child 12 year old is a child and can not think of how they would feel if this was there child

ShesABloodyLoon · 01/08/2017 11:19

Holy shit. I actually hope that your husband sees sense and leaves you ASAFP. And that he gets full custody of his children so that all his kids can have contact with their own bloody siblings.

You sound very much like my first stepmother. She actually banned my dad from seeing my DSis and I yet she had only met us a few times. Add to that we had a very strict father and wouldn't have dreamed of being anything but polite and welcoming to her so she had no reason to dislike us other than pure jealousy and nastiness.

Seeing our own father in secret was a fucking blast. I vividly recall the absolute bollocking I got for accidentally leaving a homework book at dad's house as if I'd done it on purpose. Dad only told his wife to grow the fuck up after DSIS and I refused to see him anymore. I sincerely hope that your DH tells you the same.

Lexieblue · 01/08/2017 11:44

What are you protecting your DC from?A warm loving relationship with their brother? Hmm

Mama234 · 01/08/2017 11:52

I also think the poster sounds unwell, Op you need to talk to someone in real life about how you are feeling.

BingoFlamingos · 01/08/2017 13:45

fair 😂😂 That is funny!
I've reported this thread as I am sort of worried about the op. I'm 50/50 between is she sniffing glue and fundamentally evil? And has she got some kind of post partum issue that's causing her to think her DSs is actually a threat he isn't. Hoping HQ will be able to signpost some support. She seemed very fragile and quick to leave when the ball wasn't in her court.

MeanAger · 01/08/2017 13:49

What if he does something bad to DC?

Then you deal with it. You don't keep siblings apart just incase they ever hurt each other. Your own DS will hurt your DD and vice versa. It's what siblings do.

SweetEnough · 01/08/2017 16:36

This really is unbelievable.

What will you do when your Ds bites his sister, pulls her hair, pushes her away or snatches a toy back from her? Send him away and never see him again?

He is a child, who has little to no relationship with his siblings, and hasn't been taught how to be a big brother.

Your reaction to your Ss is unnecessarily cruel. He is your partners child, how can a child show you respect and love when all you show him is distain?

I think you need to take a step back, and ask how would you feel if this was you as a child, or your ex dp's (because if this continues he likely will be) new gf treating your kids like this.

No matter how wrong we all think your feelings and actions are, they are how you are feeling, and I do hope by reading the replies you start to re-evaluate them, and start acting in your entire families best interests.

It probably is too late to form a good relationship with your Ss now, but there is no harm in apologising to him for struggling with the situation and behaving awfully towards him and start trying to build a relationship.

swingofthings · 01/08/2017 17:03

I'm normally very naive but I don't believe for a second this is real. Just the way it is written it is obvious it is only seeking the reaction it is getting.

HollyHollyHo · 01/08/2017 17:09

Don't feed the ......OP Hmm

lunar1 · 02/08/2017 00:53

I'd get yourself to the GP. The biggest danger to your child is you right now.

Willyoujustbequiet · 02/08/2017 09:03

I hope your DH leaves

You are a wicked step mother and a disgrace. How dare you treat a child like that.

Mynewballoon · 02/08/2017 09:24

This is a joke, isn't it?!

eyebrowsonfleek · 02/08/2017 12:08

The worst thing he did was tap on your son's back? Hmm

I hope that this is the stepson or his mum posting.

The funny look was probably him being conscious of your reaction. He's probably fully aware that you don't like him and he's wondering if you approved of the hug or expected a hug too.

If you're nervous of other kids, don't have them with a father.

I judge your h for having babies with a woman who doesn't like his kid and you for bullying the poor boy. He's human and not a robot! As a mum you must realize that even your perfect snowflakes won't always follow instructions.

TheRealBiscuitAddict · 02/08/2017 16:20

The only person your dc need protecting from is you.

And why on earth should we assume the op is unwell as opposed to just fundamentally unpleasant?

CosmicPineapple · 02/08/2017 16:29

I doubt OP will come vack but I have to ask.
What is it exactly you think SS will do to your DC?

notapizzaeater · 02/08/2017 16:40

He's a child with no past aggressive history - what do you think he will do ? Poor love

HairyMcFairy16 · 02/08/2017 16:56

Thou shalt not ask a step family question in AIBU. Try again in the step-parent board but do get your hard hat on.

Perhaps you could explain in your next OP why exactly you think your stepson is a danger to your younger children. And yes on the face of it you aren't doing any of the kids a service by keeping them apart. They are a family. If you have specific concerns, address those. But a child shooting you the evils and not hugging you isn't a reason to deprive a set of sibling contact.

Mynewballoon · 02/08/2017 17:40

To be fair, here on MN, nearly all step parents are treated like crap no matter what, so this has to be a joke!

user1500161471 · 06/08/2017 23:42

This must surely be a sick joke?

You're preventing your children and stepson having a relationship because he looked at you funny? It's no bloody wonder he looked at you funny when he's not even allowed in his own dads house! You really need to re-evaluate your priorities and gain some perspective. If your DH treated your kids this way would that be ok?

talonofthehawk · 11/08/2017 10:38

OP is some kind of nut case!

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