Contact between step-siblings

[Emmyloo22]

DP has a son (my SS, 12) and we have a DS (2) and DD (6m) together. I avoid contact with SS as I'm worried about what he might do to me and my DC. I've been with DP for 6 years and although the SS hasn't actually done anything major, he doesn't always follow instructions, he gives me funny looks and he "accidentally" bumped into me the last time I saw him. I reckon the XP is filling his mind with venom.

DP has SS at his parents house every other weekend (we live 80 miles away) as due to complicated financial stuff, I own the house that I live in with DP and I won't allow the SS to visit. SS has seen DS about four times in the past year and my DD once in six months. My DP keeps on trying to get me and my DC to see SS more but I don't see why we should. AIBU?

I'm amazed that he gives you funny looks, OP; you sound so lovely and warm

Are you for real?

You've known him since he was 6, won't allow him in his father's home and are worried he will 'do something' to you or your DC?

That is a very unpleasant way to behave. This is a CHILD. You sound like you need to grow up and your DP needs to grow a pair.

They might be half-siblings but that doesn't mean they need to see each other all the time.
Straw man. You say the siblings have only seen each other once in 3/6 months respectively. You made it clear you don't wish to foster their relationship. YABVU. How would you feel if your DH had further kids and deliberately kept your kids away from their new siblings? Shame on him for tolerating this from you. If I was the mum of the SS I wouldn't regard you or the dad very highly at all.

I also read this thinking it was a reverse

This is so sad. Your poor SS.
If the worst he has done is shot you a dirty look then YABU. The dirty look is warranted when you prevent him from seeing his half siblings and make him feel like such an outsider from the family.

I have a SD and it would break my heart if she ever felt excluded. Seeing her relationship grow with her half sister is amazing and I love that they have such a close bond.

Your DH needs to grow some balls and stand up to you.

Of course your an arsehole it's a fair comment to make. What type of normal person excludes an innocent child from the family unit to the point he has to see his df at his grandparents house and isn't allowed to go to his DF house because his DW doesn't want him there and around her precious dc. You had no bussiness in being with your dh and having dc if this is how you were going to behave to his son. No wonder he might give you funny looks it's clear your distain for the poor lad and he is treated like second class.

Wow! I have my step daughter living with us full time and treat her as my own.
You on the other hand are vile and need reporting to social services for emotional abuse to your step son.

You excluded a child who was nine years old (at the oldest) when you started seeing his dad.
He's probably absolutely gutted.
His dad has a new family and he's not allowed to be a part of it.
You have to make an effort to integrate a child into your family.

YABVVVU
The poor little mite has been unsettled and probably gave you a funny look because he's afraid or uncomfortable (something you should never feel amongst your own family)

For a second you need to think about how you'd feel if this was happening to you or your own DCs
You knew you were entering into an existing family unit when you started procrocreating with your partner.
Start including your SS in your family NOW and I am 90% sure you'll see improvements in his behaviour and attitude towards you.
But you sound horrible right now. You've ostracised a child and taken away his support network and your causeimg long term damage to a father son relationship.
Please think about the poor kid and stop being so selfish.

plus as the oldest sibling, if you're lovely to DSS then in a couple of years you might just have a free babysitter
But before that point your family has A LOT of making up to do.

This isn't a reverse. I'm surprised how everyone thinks this is wrong when I'm just trying to protect my DC. I'm going to leave this thread now as you've all made your feeling very clear.

What on earth do you think he's going to do them! Your flouncing off because your in the wrong and the truth hurts. I hope karma bites you on the arse for the damage your causing that boy.

You sound incredibly bitter that your SS has the brass neck to exist to be honest.

You quite clearly can't stand him yet you're surprised that he isn't all sunshine and smiles with you.

Doesn't always follow instructions? He's a child. They don't. Tapping your sons back? Unless he was whacking it I'm struggling to see the issue. Good luck with your own if you think they'll follow your every word and never annoy each other.

You've said nothing that indicates he is any type of threat to anyone or anything other than your image of your little family which he is clearly not part of.

This is your DPs son and your children's brother - if you're so utterly spiteful that you won't let the poor boy who, by your own admission, hasn't done anything major, set foot in your house, then your DP will just have to start taking your DCs with him from time to time. They are entitled to a relationship with their brother and their brother is entitled to a relationship with them.

Please answer why you get to override your partner's wishes? You do realise that if he finally grows a spine and leaves you that you will have no say at all in where he takes HIS children during his time with them?

trying to protect my child

From what? Do you ever go to toddler groups/soft play? How will you cope with school?

You're either a spectacular twunt or a troll.
Tapping his back? Are you taking the piss?
Do you know what my children do to each other.
Get over yourself.
I hope your OH is a half Denver father and ditches you and ensures ALL of his children spend plenty of time together away from your poison.

Protect your dc from what though??
Unless you're keeping back some pretty major information about your dps son (I will not refer to him as your stepson as you very clearly have no relationship with him at all), then your concerns are completely unfounded, paranoid, and frankly ridiculous.
I doubt your dp will put up with this behaviour forever, and I hope you don't mind when his new partner won't allow your dangerous children to see the new family they have together.
I actually don't think I've ever read a thread that's made me so cross, and I've been here for years!

People thought it's a reverse because they can't fathom that someone would openly admit to being so cruel and unkind to a child who had zero control of the situation who's only crime is existing.

Seriously? Flouncing off because no one has validated your emotional abuse of a 12 year old child. You don't even sound mature enough to be a parent.

PROTECT YOUR DC FROM WHAT???!!! Ffs

Seriously OP tell us what you're worried about.
Do you have postnatal anxiety, SIL developed awful paranoia after she had DN. there is help available.

I'm just trying to protect my DC

From what? He's a child, not a mafia kingpin.

I'm wondering looking at your username that your a 22 immature girl.

Are you much younger than DP? I sense some sort young beautiful but grossly naive young lady with an established yet wet flannel-y man?
she says whilst being about ten years younger than her own oh

But seriously why post on AIBU if you don't want to be told?

Sorry you haven't posted on Aibu
I've got baby brain. Forgive me.

She asked AIBU though, but clearly doesn't want to be told she is.

I've got baby brain. Forgive me.

I'm sure the OP will forgive you, Bingo, as long as you don't give her any "funny" looks. She hates that.