Almost 7 year old sleeping in our bed, can't cope!

[elmiee]

We have my partners child 5 days a week and he's recently learnt that he can come into our room in the middle of the night and daddy will allow him in the bed and so he has continued to do this every night he's at ours. I found out that his mother allows him to sleep in her bed which is where this is coming from.

However I can't cope with it any longer. It takes me ages to get to sleep in the first place, then when he comes in my partner will physically push and shove me in my back telling me to move the f-over and I end up lying there, not being able to get to sleep, upset, angry, hurt and having to listen to them pair snoring getting a great nights sleep.

I spoke to him last week about it and made it clear that I can't have the child sleeping in our room and that my backs been sore from being rammed into and I thought he got the message but last night (the first night we have the kid back after last week) it happened again and was told "if I don't like it I can find somewhere else to sleep". I got 2 hours sleep last night and he has the cheek to ask how I was feeling this morning.

Thing is, I'm from the UK originally but am in NZ. I work 70 hours a week to be able to save and afford to put in for my residency, to be able to stay here, to stay with them, to which is hasn't offered to contribute to despite it being in his best interests. I NEED MY SLEEP. I don't see why I should be banished out of my own room. I'm currently sat at work, 4 hours into my 14 hour working day, wanting to cry from backache and surviving on 2 hours of sleep.

I don't get what else I can do if he clearly has no regard for me. I could almost understand if I wasn't paying half his mortgage, the bills, food and doing all the housework but I do more than my fair share and pay more than enough to be able to have a decent nights sleep in my own bed.

Is it a matter of put up with it or leave? In which case means returning to England.

[BitOfFun]

Oh sweetheart . It's hard, but good for you. Next time you update, I want to hear all about your travelling adventures in NZ!

[user1486956786]

Hopefully you can get the cat back in the future if you change place? Hugs!!!

[NewLove]

How are things going Elmiee? I've been wondering if you're OK

[elmiee]

Everything is going better. Settled into my new place, there was talk for a while about the counselling thing but I never went ahead with it. We tried to remain friends and I would still go to the bar where he worked as it was where all my friends I'd met went so didn't want to give that up. However we had a big bust up a couple of weeks, we spoke after but we have now realized that there is no going back for us now and I feel a billion times happier now that I can concentrate on my future, and I can see one now :) rather than living in limbo and wondering if I am making the right choice.

My visa is until July 7th next year so I'm going to carry on working the two jobs to save as much $$$ as I can before then and travel again, just starting to work out my travel plans and research but I am defiantly looking to land in Bali first and go from there.

Also thinking about everything I need to get to prepare to go, I sold my rucksack when I got here so need to buy that again, maybe an ipod classic. Also been considering being a travel vlogger/blogger as well so there's that to think about and a fancy camera that will need buying!

[NewLove]

So glad that you are positive about your future. It was you that gave me courage to kick my partner to the kerb. I love him but the life is not for me... Here's to your future :)

[oldlaundbooth]

Smart decision op.

The world is your oyster.

BTW....

You can get a two year working holiday visa for Canada, it's about £60, you can do it all online.

I did Australia, NZ and Canada like that.

[Ploppie4]

CAN he sleep in your DSs room on the floor? Folding mattress?

Or can DSs sleep
In a mattress in your room?

[Ploppie4]

Ignore my last post! Well done op. Lots of travels ahead. Adventures.