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Adoption

2 replies

user14809873 · 08/06/2017 22:16

I would like my partner to adopt my child who has never met the man who got me pregnant. We (my partner & I) have another child together & are getting married. I've spoken to a Social worker who has told me that I need 'real father's' permission. I have no idea how or where I would contact him! He's not on birth certificate. I don't even know if the name I have for him is correct. In the short time I knew him, he 'changed' his name 3 times - it was bizarre! Then he vanished! He didn't let me meet his family or see where he lived! Stupidly I fell for all the excuses!

Social worker told me to check Facebook, hire a private detective, do anything I possibly can to contact him. If I don't then my partner can't adopt! Is this correct? I'm totally shocked! She said gaining parental responsibility & changing name by deedpoll would be possible but not adoption! Ever!

Anyone else been in a similar situation? I actually don't know what to do....apart from give up!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Jellybean85 · 08/06/2017 23:55

Hello! I work in social care and family law. You need to show you've made good efforts to contact him.
So yes Facebook contacting family members, friends etc.
Feel free to pm for specific advice.
Don't forget that for every reasonable mother with a man who walked out there is a Nasty one actively seeking to deny a father and paternal family.
It's not personal the judge just needs to make sure it's the right decision for the child

BandeauSally · 08/06/2017 23:58

Couldn't you just say it was a ONS and you never got his surname. And it was dark so you don't know what he looked like either.

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