Parent and children time

[PenguinDi]

I have sent my DP and dsd out for the day to spend some quality time together. I always make sure they have time alone without me, is that something you do?

We try to but between activities and work schedules it isn't possible every time they are here.

It shouldn't be you who should encourage it, it should be your DP. I think 1 to 1 quality time is a good thing, but it does depend on many factors, mainly age of the kids, how much they did have 1-1 time with their parent before, and the relationship with the partner/children in the family.

Some kids desperately seek this 1-1 time whereas others are very happy to be part of an extended family. I do think that some 1-1 time in any family occasionally is always important. The exchange I have with my DS is so different when it is only him and I rather than with the whole family or even when his elder sister is with us, even though they get along great, so I do try to make some time with him, but usually no more than maybe once a month.

I'm not strict about it always happening, but try to give them a bit of time together some of the time. More often i go out to catch up with friends and they watch stuff on TV which i don't care for, so it's something that suits us all. It's not necessarily one to one as there are several DSC do other times it's more about me offering to look after some of them while DH does something one to one with one of them.

My DSC's mum is glued at the hip to her new partner - since he retired she's decided she won't/can't drive anymore so even things like taking them to the dentist, he comes along too. She doesn't do mobiles, so contact with her is also via her DP. They honestly never ever speak to her without him being there. The DSC do resent it, and i do think the lack of time with just their mum has damaged their relationship with her, so try not to do the same with their dad.

I do not see it as my responsibility to manage the time DH has with this DS. Not something that I ever think about. He would think I was being a bit odd if I told him what to do with his DS.

I go to the gym every Saturday and Sunday morning so DH and DSD have some time alone together and so I have a break. Usually they spend it in different rooms to each other but that's their choice.