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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Desperately seeking advice re stepson ...

51 replies

scrumpy · 30/06/2004 00:54

This could go on for a long time but I will try to keep it brief. After another monumental row with stepson I am at the end of my tether. I have been with my dh for about 4 and a half years his son from a previous marriage is nearly 14 and lives with us permanently, his mother died when he was 3. My dh also has another ds who stays with us every other weekend and who lives with his Mum..no problems there. I have a four month old ds who is a joy and is my first child. I have lived with dh for 4 years and his son and it has always been difficult, we have had social services involved and counselling from the NSPCC for stepson, he is disruptive, rude continually on report at school and if not falling out continually with dh then it is with me. When it was just the 3 of us I coould cope but now with a baby I cannot go on with the conflict. We have a lovely home and I do try to be reasonable with stepson but I cannot keep enduring the arguments..tonite after a row about hwk he threatened to harm himself if I spoke to my dh about it.. he even picked up a knife not that this is the first time he has threatened this although not recently. He has been through counselling and so have we but it seems to have made no difference...help I could go on but I see no light at the end of the tunnel, dh is working until 04.00 am and we are trying to find a solution without resorting to contacting social services

thanks

OP posts:
emma11 · 14/07/2004 14:59

Just got a break and look at the messages on this and the other thread and am knocked out and very tearful that there's so much support - thanks everyone.

I DO need to speak to dh about the problems again, but also need to read up myself, so thanks for the pointers to other parts of the site. Logged on to the computer in tears this morning and just put in 'step parent', then offloaded - sorry!

Just said on the other thread that we've just had 2 exchange students here, and seeing two other boys made me realise just how different SS is - they asked my daughter if he was disabled, because of his strange behaviour. The table manners I don't think have ever been sorted, and I've been working on them slowly (how to hold a spoon, not to blow on food, not to sound like a drowning man when having a drink), and have also tried to introduce some variety into his foods, but it's like having a toddler again.

But your postings have made me feel so much better, and in time for them coming home from school, so I have the courage from your support to try again.

Thanks, guys. xx

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