1st world problem? Excessive/wastefulness

[LazySusan11]

Had Dsd (13) from Thursday, lovely time mostly, usual teen attitude issue came up but all in all a nice time :) she has today gone to her mums, since Thursday 5 toilet rolls have been used. Only she and I use that bathroom. We have quilted stuff so I have no idea why so much is being used.

When she uses the shower she puts it on then messes around in the bathroom (fully clothed) cleansing her face etc.

A few times I have knocked and when she opens the door I've then been in and turned off the shower and asked that she puts it on once she actually undressed and ready to get in.

Towels, we have huge bath sheets and hand towels and towels big enough for hair washing. I put a huge one and a hair towel in her room ready for her, she will use those for the 1st day then use 2 more clean bath sheets per day. I subsequently took towels out of bathroom off the shelf and put them elsewhere, still hasn't worked.

Dh has spoken to her about waste etc but it goes over her head and I'm fed up of the wasteful don't care attitude.

How do we tackle this? I don't resent her she's not a horrible person she just wastes stuff and I'd like it to stop unless someone else wants to pay the bills

My DS 20 is like this. Not as bad. He is in the shower for ages and ages, uses washing powder (I don't use laundry soap, I use a green alternative) leaves lights on, uses the oven for a pizza for one etc. If you find a strategy that works, let me know!
Oh and DS 16 puts recyclables in the bin.

I think it just means we are old and turning into out parents!

If she has any kind of personal financial allowance from you/DH I'd start invoicing penalty payments from it in writing then only giving what's left.

Eg £1 deducted for each unnecessary towel, £1 deducted for running the shower more than a minute prior to getting in for each offence etc

Make the physical link between her wastage and her finances, that might make her care.

My 9 year old and 4 year old understand that every drop of water down the drain I've paid for that's wasted is money I'm not spending on them. Likewise the electricity.

I might be mean but I hate waste.

I feel your pain on the loo roll, my DP gets through one a day, he's a man, we now live together but when he used to stay with me in my flat for a week I was amazed at the one loo roll a day, when I lived on my own it would take me over 2 weeks to get through a full roll.

With the towels, tell her she can have one per week, if she puts them out to be washed just hang them up to air and put them back in the pile she uses, you'll somehow have to hide the rest, I also can't stand thoughtless people who use up and waste stuff, thankfully my DP uses his massive bath sheets for a week before wanting them washed.

As well as the bills, tell her that this kind of thing is what wrecks the planet. And it will be her problem, not yours.

If she is of normal intelligence she can get that despite being a teenager.

It all sounds very normal to me. Except the toilet roll. Is it possible that she didn't have any sanpro so substituted with toilet roll because she was too embarrassed to ask?

Agree she probably used loo roll instead of pads.

For water and towel use, tell me if you found a way. Make her wash, dry and fold them maybe?

This would drive me mad. I'd tell her she gets the two towels and that's it. Yes I'd let to loo roll issue go in case it was related to her period.

My first thought was that she had her period and had no sanpro and so used loo paper instead. Could she have got blood on the towels so needed to put them out to wash?

No she has plenty of sanpro I always make sure she has what she usually uses and won't run out.

With her cereal she has the bowl so filled with milk she can barely carry it to the table, she'll have cereal Morning and before bed. she scuffs a trainer and wants a new pair, she has more make up than a Mac counter she just has so much stuff she has no idea what anything is worth. Nothing has a value to her.

Dh has taken her bank card off her so she can no longer buy whatever whenever, her grandparents give her money 3 times a year and she earns pocket money.

She doesn't give a shit about the effect on planet she's not interested in anything except her phone!! I might turn off the wifi for an hour per extra loo roll and towel used

Towels have been kindly left in a pile on the floor for me to pick up and wash.

If she has her period she tells me, no big deal so she's not using loo roll for that.

If you ask her to put her dish in the dish washer or strip her bed for washing it causes so much drama. She's lovely at times, just very lazy wants everything given to her without at least doing something to help!

Can deal with all that, the waste issue really does piss me off!

Very teenage then . Could you please bring your plate to the kitchen? Harumph, eye roll, stalk off theatrically into the kitchen... she'll be perfectly lovely again very soon.

Sanpro

Well air the towels (certainly don't wash them) and make her use them again, give her one per visit, how will she know they haven't been washed.

TBH I'd just leave it and let it go. It's fairly standard teenage behaviour, you say she's lovely and she's not with you all the time.

Tell her to buy her own face cleanser wipes or cotton wool pads. Yes definitely air the towels she uses and put all the others away. Give her one bog roll and take the others away! Needs must and all that. I wouldn't bother with lectures about the environment and the planet, it goes way over disinterested heads! My eldest is nearly 12 and is the same with cereal but not with the bog roll, it's baby wipes and she has a strange fascination with cellotape and putting it everywhere...so much so I've had to hide it all

Actually, when I got fed up with my DCs doing this, I left their washing to them helped them the first few times, then left them to it. Occasionally they do the odd silly load, but I've shown them the flash wash setting for when they forget to do PE kit. It's been great. They soon realise towels do more than one day!