What did his ex say when you were having a baby?

[Greenbigtree]

So we kept the pregnancy secret from everyone until it I could hide it no longer, because we knew his ex wouldn't take it well.

Anyway, he told her. She went ballistic. The abuse received was extremely hurtful. I got really upset. I'll add that I am not the reason they split.

My oh and his ex have a rather awful relationship but even I was shocked that a grown up woman could speak like this about an unborn child.

She has said that we are fucking up her kids life by having a baby. She thinks that my oh no longer should have access to his sons as much. She wants to reduce his access. I've told my oh she can't do that when they have had a regular contact set up for a long time.

We also have another issue. At present we are crammed in to a
Very small home. It is not suitable for us all and we are planning our move. It is quite a considerable jump in size, but it is needed and it's not luxurious by any means - it is the growing rent for a 3 bed. The rent for this property is a lot more.

My oh is a low earner - in fact I earn more doing 50% less hours than him. He pays his ex a considerable amount of maintenance (over the Csa amount and also pays half of anything needed for them that she asks him too, which is a lot!), but he was able to do this when they first split as he was living with his parents.

He has been able to continue this in or current home as its off a friend, but the new home is £400 more a month when we move and will have the baby etc.

Has anyone had to break it that they will have to pay a more appropriate rate of maintenance? We have my oh's kids half the week and his ex has a very good job and actually brags to my oh about how much her and her partner brings home each month, but still says he is a shit dad because he should be paying half of all of her bills in addition to the maintenance!

When we moved in we never reduced it for the fact that I have a child in the home either.

At the moment if the kids tell her their dad has bought anything she calls and shouts at him for being a shit dad for not paying more maintenance when he could afford to buy a new much-needed work outfit!

She sounds exactly like my DPs ex .

When I was pregnant with DS 1 she went crazy! Asked how dare we have a child without asking her permission! How could we do that to SDD . She had wanted her to be an only child .

She even threatened to harm me to end the pregnancy!
Stupid bitch.
She has stopped DP from seeing SDD and he only sees her for a couple of hours a week at his parents .

She is not allowed to see her brothers ( we now have 2 DS's) because her mother won't allow it.

Awful sad situation and I hope when SDD grows up she realises what her mother has taken from her.

We pay maintenance fairly and didn't reduce it when either DSs were born so that's not her issue. I don't know what her problem is .

I have a DD from a previous relationship and if exdp went on to have more children I would be pleased not bitter and twisted .

Also I don't get why so many people get annoyed when maintenance does reduce as people have more children. Surely in any family money to spend on each child reduces as you have more ? Even in normal family situations!

I think people can get funny about the maintenance going down when people have additional kids because in theory a man could go on to father several kids without even considering the finaical impact it would have on his first child who still requires support. Their needs have not altered if anything is become greater as they get older. The maintenance that is calculated is a minimum amount required that's not to say it is the correct amount in which to support a child. Well done for your do for continued to pay the same amount.