I'd your a sm do you wash your dss

[K8eee]

my dss is 9, but I don't feel comfortable bathing him. dh still washes his hair and body for him, should he be doing this or should he be able to be left to it by now? my niece who is the same age is able bodied enough to do it, but I was just wondering whether he still needs some help, and wetherspoons as a sm I'm not the only who feels a bit uncomfortable doing it? I ask dh to bathe/wash him as 1 he's a boy and 2 he's not mine biologically. it wouldn't be so bad if he was my actual son

my child is both biologically my own, and also an infant who can't for fear of death be left unattended in the tub, so this isn't my experienced opinion. I would have thought a 9 y/o could probably wash themselves?

He's old enough to wash himself. He should start to feel that some things are private for him from both you and DH - washing, undressing/dressing.

Wetherspoons made me laugh, sorry!

I think 9 is old enough to do it himself tbh.

My 10 year old has been bathing completely on his own for about 2 years, for a couple of years before that he only needed me to make sure his hair was properly rinsed.

Your DH needs to give him a bit of independence, I think. I'm not prudish about nudity or anything, all my DCs (4 boys) are perfectly fine with me seeing their bits if necessary, it just really isn't necessary to be washing a 9 year old.

Not a step mum but have a 9 yo DS. i wouldn't generally wash him. Do direct him to wash himself but that's because he has mild ASD type issues and needs more direction still than his peers.
I do his hair because left to himself he would leave it until it crawled off to wash itself . His 7 yo sister is capable of and insists on doing her own.

Absent special needs or circumstances I think it's reasonable to expect a 9yo to sort themselves in the bath. What does your DSS want? Unless you have known him since babyhood Id expect him to be starting to get a bit embarrassed by this age?

My 9 and 10 year old have been bathing and showering alone for a couple of years now.

At 9 he can start doing it himself if he doesn't usually. Sometimes kids this age need to be checked to make sure they are doing a good job. I think it is best for his dad to do that.

My 8yo DSS is perfectly capable of washing himself (needs reminding about TEETH though!) but likes someone to come and chat to him while he's in the bath. Ditto when he's having a poo (although for that I tend to fling a Horrible Histories book at him and retreat to a safe distance).

I have a 12 yo dss who I have never washed since he was 6. He was able before then. We maintain a 'swimwear' decency - ie, I have never seen him without underwear and he has never seen me in anything less than the equivalent of a bikini.

9 is får too old to be supervising bathtime. Other than shouting 'have you used the soap' as boys are lazy