Meeting partner's 17yo daughter shortly

[CathyAnne80]

Help! Any tips?! I'm crapping myself! This is much scarier than meeting someone's parents. No kids of my own and never been out with someone with kids before.

How do I greet her (they're coming to my flat)? A hug? A handshake? Just a "Hello"??

Oh I would be terrified too

Um, no to the hug I think.
Just general chit chat about school/college? I don't know if you could bond over some gentle teasing of her dad (dress sense/hair?), or if she'd get defensive of him?!

So no advice there really

Has he talked about her at all? Have you built a picture of the type of child she is? Have you asked him any questions?

I think the best thing you can do is just be yourself. She will have to learn to take you as you are, so might as well be so from the start. Hopefully, she will be mature and pleasant and very responsive to you but if she isn't, then don't insist, just make sure you try to make eye contact with her also when you speak with her dad and clearly don't be too physically close to him.

As for introduction? 'Hi, I'm X, I'm really please to finally meet you' and go from there.

Hey, it's really nice to meet you, your dad has told me so much about you (if that fitting), would you like a drink?

I would hug but I'm the huggy type

All of the above, but remember...she is not a child, but a young woman! She may well be resentful if she sees you as usurping the roll of 'number one woman in his life'! Keep it very cool, don't try to be a parent figure, her friend, or anything other than a friend of her dad's...then slowly take it from there! If you're serious about this guy, don't get too involved too quickly with his daughter, concentrate on you and him and see how it goes!

Thanks guys. I think It went OK! She was very sweet and sensible. Partner obviously relishes his "embarrassing dad" role though so there was a fair amount of eye-rolling and "shut UP DAD!" too

Sounds like she liked you so that's a big bonus

I'm very happy it went well for you Cathy, it sounds like a good start was made! However, I still say take it very slowly! I'm assuming your relationship is relatively new, so you need to concentrate on you and your partnerr, and he still needs to spend alone time with his DD, perhaps just occasionally involving you. I always feel that I got involved with DH's family too soon, (many years ago now), and he with mine, consequently we didn't have enough time just as a couple in the early years!