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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

Another bedroom post

12 replies

FaithLoveandHope · 02/07/2015 16:45

Hi All, DP and I are moving into a new place in a few weeks and are wondering what to do about bedrooms. It's a 2 bed, one bedroom has ensuite, other bedroom has fitted wardrobes / a desk on the one wall. We're wondering which room should be ours and which for DSS. DSS is 5 and would be there every other weekend. Would it be unreasonable for us to have bedroom with ensuite and use other room for DSS when he's there and study when he's not? I'm a phd student so it'd be so useful to have study space. Don't want DSS to think he's being pushed out of his space though.

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Petal02 · 02/07/2015 16:55

I would expect you and your DP to have the 'master bedroom', ie the one with the ensuite, and DSS has the 'other' bedroom. I can't see what harm it would do if you used DSS's room as a study when he's not there? When space is limited you can't 'ring fence' one room so that it's only used EOW.

Reginafalangie · 02/07/2015 16:55

I think that is totally reasonable OP.

riverboat1 · 02/07/2015 18:36

I think it's fine. Maybe you could keep the study bit sort of hidden away/portable eg lock your stuff into the desk drawers and cupboards and try to keep the desk surface free of your stuff while DSS is there.

Original poster

FaithLoveandHope · 02/07/2015 19:08

Thanks all. Petal I'm not sure really, just kind of feel like DSS will feel like it's not really his room if he knows we use it as a study. The desk doesn't have drawers / closed cupboards, it's got two open shelf type things on the bottom, not quite sure how to explain it. I wonder if there's a way we can block off the desk space as it's set a few cm back from the wardrobe. I should imagine if DSS wants to do colouring or anything it'd be on the table in the dining room where we can be around him rather than in his bedroom. Perhaps I'm overthinking it.

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Original poster

FaithLoveandHope · 02/07/2015 19:17

Ahh found a picture that explains it better. So there's a wardrobe on the one side, the below desk (or similar) set back a few cm immediately next to it and then the wall on the other side of the desk. Don't know if maybe we could put some sort of curtain in front of the desk.

www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/60220971/

OP posts:

Petal02 · 02/07/2015 19:34

OP, yes - you are overthinking this!

Husbanddoestheironing · 02/07/2015 19:38

He's 5, you are overthinking it, but do recommend you don't leave anything important/irreplaceable in there when he is staying. He may colour over your important notes....

Original poster

FaithLoveandHope · 02/07/2015 19:46

Yes I am aren't I

Good point Husband will make sure I hide everything valuable before he comes.

OP posts:

JakieOH · 02/07/2015 19:56

Yeah i would say that's absolutely fine. It's easy to get caught up and over think even logical and simple things when your a Step parent good luck with the PHD!

Husbanddoestheironing · 02/07/2015 21:03

Good luck with the PhD and the step-parenting- at least you have the other to retreat to when one of them seems too ridiculously hard work

K888 · 02/07/2015 23:26

You seem very thoughtful! That is nice.

I'm sure it would be fine to use as a study, there are some great combination type bedrooms, soom even bunkbed style (not sure if they are old enough?). If you involve them in the decorations etc and choosing bed spreads etc, that will send out a message that you want them to feel welcome.

cookiefiend · 03/07/2015 00:02

When I was a child I had my bedroom for the weekends which my dad used as a study when j wasn't there. It never bothered me. He just used the desk and I had everything else to myself so he wasn't touching my stuff or anything. My siblings were not Allowed in when I wasn't there which made sense, but it never bothered me that my dad (or DSM if she had wanted) were there.

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