Unreasonable or not...

[Pickles4005]

Does your OH do the decent thing and discuss with you first whether it's ok for his children to come and stay or say yes to EW and tell you afterwards?

If it's outside the normal routine, I would expect him to discuss with me first. If he doesn't, I hit the roof because it's disrespectful. End of.

My DSD's Mum calls me before she calls DH these days. I think she decided to cut out the middle man because he said "I'll just check with X" every time. I keep the family diary and he doesn't have a clue. Saying that we've never said "no" unless we've been away.

Of course he should check with you.

My DH doesn't commit to anything extra without checking with me (courtesy but also in case he's forgotten that we are going out/having people round).

Of course he should check with you before agreeing it with EW! But think a lot of men will say yes because they're afraid to say no, then just present their partners with the immortal words...'oh I thought I'd told you!!!

He would probably only discuss it with me as in 'ask me if it's OK' if there was already something happening during the proposed extra contact time, e.g. other visitors or a social engagement somewhere or something. Otherwise he'd just tell me right after it was arranged. I'm fine with this.

I would expect him to tell me if they are coming over on additional days to the norm, because I remember dates and he doesn't ! That said, the choice will still be his, if he wants to do whatever we have planned or see his dcs for extra time. If we have something planned like a prepaid weekend away I would not expect him to agree, but if it's something like going out with friends for dinner then he can decide if he says yes, and he can arrange a sitter..it really depends on the plans. An additional weekend with us going out sat eve for example can be worked around.

I think that's right - it does depend on the circs. Thinking about it, dp has dss all week this week. He didn't ask me if that was OK, he suggested it to ex as dss has been being difficult and had a day of suspension from school and dp is working at home this week. I am working away so it doesn't really affect me.

I am home tonight so it does affect me tonight, but dp told me on Monday when I spoke to him so I could have said then that I wasn't happy with him here Thu had I wanted to, but I didn't want to/have no reason to. As dp is 14 his presence doesn't mean we can't go out or anything. In fact I have him on my own this weekend (Fri to Mon am) and I am off out on a gin tasting night on Saturday!