Another bedroom arrangement post

[tinyboxtim]

DH and I live in my house. I say mine as it was my late husbands parents house, and they gifted it to us on our wedding day. I have two children (11 and 9), DH has 3 children (10,9,7), and together we have three of our own ( 2 year old twins and a 5 month old). We have SC eowe.

My house has 5 bedrooms. Now my older two kids have their bedrooms that they have had their entire lives. They were hand painted by their father shortly before he died with space/peter pan scenes on the roof. It is non negotiable, they are not giving up their rooms. My twins share the 4th room, which leaves the last room that my sc have been using, along with a pull out couch.

Baby still sleeps with DH and myself, however, I was recently diagnosed with MS, and have issues with pain at night, which means that this can not be a long term thing, and DD2 will need to move in to the spare bedroom sooner rather than later.

So what are some solutions to a lack of bedroom space? We will need to house three extra kids eowe and I assume the sofa's are just not going to cut it.

Firstly, sorry about your late husband.

What is your downstairs like? Do you have a separate dining room or snug or study that could double up as a bedroom with some decent sofa beds? Or, as it's eow could the 10 and 11 year old share? Then the two 9 year olds share and the 7 year old in with baby or twins?
Or finally convert the loft?
Sorry that wasn't ever so helpful.

A lot of it depends on the sex of the children as well as just the age. If the 10,9 and 7 yo all share a room then your only option maybe to either put the littlest ones in together or share the eldest's room with the other age appropriate same sex children. They shouldn't have to give up their room but if those rooms are bigger depending on how often your DSC's stay could you add a chair that folds out into a bed for them? Doesn't sound like you actually have a spare room if it is your DCS's room anyway?

Sorry missed it was EOW but that would definitely mean pull out chair bed or sofa bed type of thing

Sofa beds like this one could work : m.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/art/40300544/

I know SC are supposed to have their own space in their other home, etc, etc - but it seems that circumstances aren't going to make that possible. That being so, how well do they and your older DC get on? Would adding rollaway beds or something to the older DC's rooms to accommodate their step siblings be a possibility?

Oh, sorry;

Ds11
DD9
DTS2
DD5mths

DSD10
DSS9
DSD7

Could your dss share with your ds the nights he stays and then the space thats freed up in the spare room could accommodate the babies cot? Maybe not ideal long term but if there are no other "spare" rooms in the house to use as bedrooms it may be the best you can do. Its a dilemma we'll be facing soon and I'm dreading it.

You could put DSS in with DS, DSD10 in with DD9, and depending on size also DSD7 (room not child size obviously) and then DTS and either DD5mnth together or lo in own room.

Is any kind of extension possible? Your husband needs to find a way to provide a home for all his children, they need some kind of space of their own with him. If he's not had to pay for a house has he some money to pay for a decent extension.

It depends on the size of the rooms and what kind of sleep routines the DCs have.

If space/sleeping works could the dss's go in with the twins and the dsd go in with the baby?

I don't think you should have a 7yo girl room sharing with a 10yo boy for any longer than is absolutely necessary.

Your children need to share their rooms at the weekend with your step-children.

DS11 with DSS 9 & DSS 7

DD9 with DSD 10

DTS 2

Baby DD smallest room.

Re-jigged based on size and need.

You can't seriously suggest that all your 'birth' children get rooms and your step-children sleep where on sofas?

I understand the emotional ties you explained around the history of your house and your elder children's room but you have chosen to remarry and move on. And with that comes a need to accept change.

If you have an attached garage could that be converted or an attic room made. A conservatory put up and that used as dining room and dining room turned into a bedroom.

I disagree with those who say your DSs should give up the rooms so lovingly decorated by their father. You may be moving on, which is good, but they may not be ready to.

The DSC are only there 4 days out of 14 so should be accommodated on trundle beds or in bunks with somewhere to keep their own stuff, like an ottoman.

Ss in with your ds on a pull out bed chair bed older dsd in with your dd twins own room youngest dsd in with baby or the other girls if there's space. 2 to a room. Your dc will have to share it's only eow.

This is tricky, and at the age they are now, you have quite a few more years to cope with it! I think the only permanent solution (finance allowing) is to extend the house (garage/attic) into two separate bedrooms, one large for DSD's to share and one small for DSS, and if possible a small shower room in between. Big ask I know, but you certainly can't be accommodating them on camp beds for the foreseeable future! It would also increase the value of the house, should you wish to downsize when all children are grown!

mythical I'd hope that the OP would be sensitive to her DCs stages of grief and not bring 3 additional DCs half-siblings into their lives if they weren't at the point of being able to adapted changes in their family life.

It is the presence of the youngest DCs who have created the current issue with bedrooms - OP did you not discuss this with your DH and come to an agreement prior to planning further DCs together?

Oldest steps share with your kids. Younger kids share the other two depending on sex/age etc.

I think providing they get on OK, your oldest children should share their rooms with their step-siblings EoW. Twins have one room. Baby has smallest room.

PinkGinny - has the only sensible solution.

To prioritise all your DCS and put the DSCs on sofa beds and give them no space in a 5 bedroomed house - regardless of the circumstances is wrong.

there are 5 children who have gone through different traumas with their parents. You have quite rightly provided stability for your eldest two and depending on where they are on the grief process and we are now talking approximately 4 yrs down the line - then life does need to move on. No one is saying redecorate the rooms - just give some space.

Have you tried asking your older DCs what they think would be the best solution for everyone? You may otherwise be assuming things to be non-negotiable that in face are not. If they get on with their step-siblings then sharing with them might be the best long term options.

EOW may be "only 4 nights out of 14" but it's 50% of their weekends, so they do need a bit of space to call home.

Don't most 5 bed houses have more than one reception room?

Is there a dining room/playroom that could be used as a DSC's bedroom?

Attic conversion?

Mezzanine?

Isn't this poster banned?