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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Mothers day - damp eye alert!

26 replies

BigPigLittlePig · 14/03/2015 12:05

Dsd (7) made me a card.

This morning she explained the following...

"I'm making mummy dinner tomorrow, but you won't get anything because I'm not here, so I made you an extra special card"

Anyone else care to jump on my emotional bandwagon - about time we had a more positive thread on the SP board...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Wdigin2this · 14/03/2015 12:10

Would like to be positive, and in fairness my grown DSC will all give me cards etc...but there are so many differences/difficulties unresolved over many years, I sadly remain mostly negative!

Icantstopeatinglol · 14/03/2015 12:16

I'll not get one or even a msg but then I don't get a birthday card or anything either :( I've known dsd 11 yrs, she's now 17 and just doesn't bother. Can't help feeling a bit sad.

wheresthelight · 14/03/2015 12:25

Aww that's lovely!!

AmethystMoon · 14/03/2015 12:27

Aww that's really thoughtful of her

Icantstopeatinglol · 14/03/2015 12:29

....sorry I know you said a positive thread, I do love my dsd and I'm sure she does in return

TooSpotty · 14/03/2015 12:29

That's lovely! My stepson has got me a present apparently, but I'm yet to see it. I feel rather lucky because he routinely forgets Father's Day!

Wdigin2this · 14/03/2015 13:16

I'm sorry I'm not contributing anything positive too!

FlipFlippingFlippers · 14/03/2015 13:30

My usually lovely dsd has made a huge deal over the fact that I'm getting nothing this year. She's always done me something and we have an amazing relationship. She's just turned 9 and is in full on pre teen attitude mode of late. She's been very full on about what she's made for mummy and how much she's got for her and then made a very big point of saying "but YOU'RE not getting anything, just MY mummy"

It's surprised me tbh as I was expecting this in the teenage years not now. It hurt slightly but I've remained neutral about it. I've been in her life since she was 1 and we are very close. I'm sure I've got more of this to come over the next few emotional years!!

On their last school trip about ww1 they had to make a medal for their hero and she made one for me. I think that counts more than a card on a random day. It's what I'll keep telling myself anyway!!

CalicoBlue · 14/03/2015 15:06

How lovely for you, she sounds like a very thoughtful little girl. (flowers)

MuttonCadet · 14/03/2015 15:10

SS mum would flip out if they bought me anything (including a card), but I do know that they appreciate me.

To all you lovely step mums!

needaholidaynow · 14/03/2015 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoldenBeaches · 14/03/2015 17:12

My dh doesn't even receive a card or text on fathers day so I've got no hope. The ex said, when we got together, that it was now my job to sort out the Father's Day stuff erm no it's the dc's job actually, he's not my dad.

yellowdaisies · 14/03/2015 17:43

That's very sweet. :)

As per usual DSC are here with us this Sunday, as they are every Sunday (and whole weekends). They'll probably cobble together cards of some sort to take back to their DM, but haven't ever considered me someone to include, so I'm not expecting anything. Does make me a little sad to be honest - as I do a hell of a lot of the mothering of them :(

I do have my own DC, so I guess the DSC feel I'm their mum, and their dad's DW, but don't really think much about what I am to them. DH is taking me out to dinner though so I guess that's his way of saying that he at least appreciates it.

jovialjulia · 14/03/2015 18:38

It's all in how mum "allows" them to be. This is very sweet but I believe they are all capable of this if they were allowed. My dd will do lovely things for her sm because she's been raised to be allowed to share her love. My dsd won't send so much as a text or pass a grunt in the kitchen, because she's been raised to worship mummy dearest at the cost of any other relationship.

AddictedtoGreys · 14/03/2015 20:06

my DSD is 6 and last year decided we would have "addicted day", as she would be with her DM on mother's day and wanted to still have a day for me I thought it was really sweet, and she bought be a " friend" card :) its hard for her though i can see she feels torn as my DS had a card,etc for me.

nice to have a day for us though which doesn't step on anyone else's toes

StockingFullOfCoal · 14/03/2015 22:54

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/224001069/happy-mothers-day-youre-not-like-a-mum?ref=cat_gallery_31&ga_search_query=like+a+mum+card&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=GB&ga_search_type=all

Can't do clicky links on my phone.

I posted that card to my absolute star of a stepmother yesterday. I am NC with my abusive neglectful alcohol and cocaine addled mother. When she met my Dad, I was 17, living with him (escaped and went to live with him aged 16.) And I was a mess. A real mess. Reclusive. Quiet. Depressed and on meds/seeing a psych. I'd rage over nothing, sob over nothing, I'd get drunk.

Fuck knows why she married my Dad with baggage like that!

But thankfully she did. She held my hand through 4 years of mania, severe depression, the eventual diagnosis of BPD, and my Dad wouldn't have got through it all without her never ending support too.

I'm almost 29 now and she is absolutely one of my most favourite people. She's Granny to my DDs and they adore her. We speak on the phone regularly (they live quite far away now) and see each other 6 times a year, ish, sometimes more.

If my Dad ever divorces I will be

StockingFullOfCoal · 14/03/2015 22:56

She deserves extra special credit because she did the job of a mother without being my mother.

Queenofknickers · 14/03/2015 23:09

My DSD just gave me a lovely card and a heart saying "a special mum lives here" - means so much to be thought of as a mum by her. She's 20 now and was 3 when we met. I'm so grateful for her and for her bio mum for so generously sharing her with me.

Sethspeaks · 15/03/2015 10:44

A positive step thread - lovely!

I have two dsd's from different relationships. Dsd 1 (known her for 16 years) I will see later but she always sends thoughtful cards that make me cry.

Dsd 2 (known for 3 years) has just sent a lovely text that I just wasn't expecting at all thanking me for everything I have done for her since I have known her, and saying how much she values my support.

But to those not getting the recognition, and I didn't for years with dsd 1, it doesn't mean you aren't doing a great job because you are. It's really hard being a step parent - so to all those unsung hero stepmums.

TheMumsRush · 15/03/2015 14:38

My DSC have gotten me card on the Mother's Day weekends we've had them its lovely op

PaperPomPom · 15/03/2015 14:50

Nothing from either of mine, but a lovely text from MIL saying how much she appreciates what I do for the both of them and as she's been a SM she understands how hard it can be at times.

LWR3008 · 15/03/2015 16:38

Happy mothers day to all the special step-mummys who deserve recognition not only today but always

evmil · 15/03/2015 21:00

I got cards from all 3 DSS's this year for first time ever!. I didn't think it would be that much of a big deal to me and they do usually do something nice for me (they live with me and DH full time and have done since i met him 7 years ago) but i have been an emotional wreck all day.

Haven't told anyone in RL as didn't want it to seem like i was gloating ect but I am so happy, it lovely to know you are appreciated

Scotchmincepie · 16/03/2015 08:51

I got flowers fro mil and Dh. No kids of my own. That was sweet of them. Kids, wouldn't occur to the, why should it? Their mum was round for tea at ours.

hoobygalooby · 16/03/2015 14:56

I got 'you're like a mum to me cards' from my dsc. Apparently all their idea too! And they both called on Sunday to say happy Mother's Day.
I was touched

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