Hopefully someone can set me straight on this, its really stressing me out
Background: I have been with my (now) wife for 9 years, I already had a son, she had 2 girls. So basically we have been a step family pretty much since then, the kids get on great and we also have our own child. My son comes round every other weekend, during the week. I live with my wife, step daughters and our daughter.
I think my wifes always struggled with my Son. I cant see hes ever done anything wrong, but it may be rose tinted glasses. Hes not rude to her, hes a bit silly, but hes a kid, hes no worse than any of the others in our family. Hes not really loud, can be at times. Shes never been a massive fan of boys, I think in general she was raised with a negative view of men as her mum was abused physically by her father.
Its very obvious shes not comfortable when hes about, but she tries in my presence. I would like her to be perfectly comfortable, and make more effort I suppose, when I first met her I took her daughters out on my own to get to know them etc.. now I just treat them as my own, I say I have 4 kids, and I treat them all the same, financially, with attention and help where they need it. I tend to be a it closer to my son, and when hes here I sort of feel like I need to 'protect' him from my wifes negativity towards him, it sort of feels like if she does talk to him, its only in a negative way, not mildly, just either a sort of dig back, or to get him to do something kind of thing.
Generally my wife is a lovely and caring person and our marriage is great, its just this bit is a sore point for me, and I think for her. Should I just be happy that she tolerates the situation and almost plays along while my son is here, then forgets about him (to a degree) when hes not here?
Sorry its a long post, I don't know who to talk to about this without getting a biased reply