No hearing problem

[operaha]

My ds's (9) step mother thinks he has a hearing problem and I'm told she says "why doesn't your mother get your hearing tested?".
Thing is, I genuinely don't think he has one! I spend a lot more time with him, we talk and read, we go out together, etc, we communicate all the time. I've spoken to his teachers too, they've reported nothing.
I suppose it's a case of take him to the Dr anyway, just in case, cos I'm starting to doubt myself and just writing this I sound a bit of an idiot.
She says a lot of things about me in front of my children, which is always denied by my ex. Think there's more than the ear thing bothering me!

You could ask her why she thinks that?

Perhaps it's when he's not listening - more of a 'can't you hear me?' Comment than actual medical concern?

We are never ever in the same place at the same time. In all the years she's been married to my kids dad, we've never really spoken, I have offered the chance (birthday parties and the like) but she declines.
It might not be right but that's how it is. Things with my ex aren't amazing, we only just manage to be civil and for some reason she dislikes me intensely.

I believe she does think it's medical as age has told him more than once to get me to get his ears tested (not in a joke way from what I can tell and his dad has said it too but admits he hasn't noticed anything).
I think just writing it down has made me realise there's no harm in popping to the drs.

Sorry, his dad has told me that his dw has said it - but he hasn't got concerns

Is it her way of saying that he ignores her?

Well there's no harm in getting his hearing tested. Have you asked his dad directly then?

Yeah, sounds like her way of saying he ignores her. You should do the same if you aren't worried . Think it's just a kid thing, I often repeat myself when DSC are here. It's funny, they can hear me when offering treats but not when asked to tidy lol

I would guess he might well have a selective hearing problem Especially if she's often asking him to do things he doesn't want to do.

But yes you're right, no harm at all in taking him to the GP to get checked out - hearing problems can be only at ceratin pitches of sound so it's possible he can hear your voice well but may struggle with some other people's.

Hadn't thought of it like that, he's certainly not her biggest fan and without trying to be too bitchy, from what the kids tell me, she's pretty demanding so he probably does zone out..... I'll tell him to be more polite!

I have said this to both my dsc's on several occasions in a jokey way to point out their selective deafness when being asked to tidy their toys etc (they are 9 and 11) mind their dad gets it too

is she really demanding or is it just that she has higher expectations of them and their ability to do as they are asked than you do? I am sure that my dsc's would go home and bitch about me sometimes as I expect them to fend for themselves in terms of showering and getting dressed and sorting their own breakfast whereas their mum has a fit at the prospect of them lifting a finger at home. (not me being a cow she has actually had a go at me for it several times)

as for disliking you - If your relationship is bad with your ex I would assume he is the reason as he has probably told her all sorts!! dp never slagged off his ex to me, her behaviour has entirely soured my opinion of her all by herself

Another good point! I have step children myself, and I DO have high expectations for them which are based purely on how I raise my own children but when I first met them their dad/mum did everything for them, I mean they didnt know how to lift their plate from the dinner table or put sweet wrappers in the bin (of course they did, they just never had to). They were 9 and 12 when I met them and this was non negotiable for me - my own son was 7 and could tidy up after himself. One day when I slept over at my dps, the TWELVE YEAR OLD sat outside her bedroom in the morning howling becuase he wouldnt get up and make her breakfast.
I hope they dont go home and whinge about me but I do expect them to do as much as my dcs when they are here!
Anyway yada yada - my point being if I am high standard - I cant imagine what she is like! I know I can only take what the kids tell me on face value but their house sounds very miserable. Whole other thread there though!

My ex husband never admitted his part in the breakdown of our marriage (imo he was entirely to blame). Recently Ive rediscovered messages from when we split (8 years ago) and my goodness, he hated me - I imagine he has never had a nice word to say about me!

my point being if I am high standard - I cant imagine what she is like

She may not be more demanding, just different, and if it is in contrast with their Dad (who, perhaps wears Mickey Mouse ears at times) then they will undoubtedly moan to you about the disciplinarian in his house - just as I'm sure they moan about you to other people, as well!

There's clearly nothing wrong with your DS hearing if he is noticing, and repeating the things he hears in his dads house to you - but if he has a habit of zoning out from his stepmum and his dad lets him get away with it, then it's not surprising she's frustrated and being sarcastic.